Told to get a gastric bypass

[Freethenipp]

Mind dump-

So low. Had my third DC 7 months ago, first time getting PND and a hip/pelvic injury from SPD, I’m in pain daily, granted I’ve put a lot of weight on (normally a size 14-16 now a size 18-20) but losing the weight slowly (as advised by GP).

Got a text out of the blue from my dad today telling me he knows someone who went to Egypt and got a gastric bypass and she now looks great and I should get one too.

My weight has always been an issue to my dad, even when I was slim he’d put me and my mum on diets, I’ve told him I’m really upset by his text but he’s gone on to say that he just wants me healthy and fit so I can be there to look after him when he’s older and he’s only saying it because he loves me.

Im still breastfeeding DC 2 & 3, spreading myself so thin, trying to lose the weight, fit in exercise and healthy eating and now this.

Geez. What an awful dad. Tell him to F off.

Ive not replied since, no apology just excuses as to why he’s said even though he knows it’s hurt me.. story of my life with my parents.

I just can’t shut out the noise though, it’s ruined my day completely. I’ve got a sinking feeling in my stomach, had a panic attack at the thought of him and his (younger than me size 8) fiancé talking about how I should get it, it’s made me feel so sick. DH is in work so I’m alone with the DC just really low and sneaking off for a cry.

I'd tell him "no way am I looking after you when you have given me a life time of food and weight issues".

What an utterly vile thing for him to say and do when you were younger

Big hugs

What a nasty thing to do

Of course it’s ruined your day, he sounds like psycho honestly. Tell him to go fuck himself and that he shouldn’t worry about you, you’re taking care of yourself. It’s himself he should worry about, you can lose weight but there’s nothing he can do about how old he is- not even a young wife will do fix that.

Maybe send him some helpful hints on how he can increase his healthy life expectancy or how he can fight frailty- I’m sure he’d really appreciate that helpful advice. There actually classes he can do to protect against frailty, you should send some links

That is a dangerous stupid thing to do. How ignorant of him. Losing slowly is far more sensible. You're size 18 to 20 you aren't a weight where you need surgery.

I got one in Feb this year and was 16 stone and I'm now 11 stone. I would recommend it for anyone who has struggled with their weight their whole life.

@TeachesOfPeaches Hi dad 👋🏻

At 16 stone, I'm guessing you were at least a size 24-28 before your surgery? Fair enough in your case.

The OP doesn't need risky weight loss surgery because she's not ridiculously overweight at a size 18/20. Healthy eating and portion control is all she needs to do in order to lose weight sensibly over a period of 12-18 months.

Hypnosis is actually very good if you struggle with cravings and binge eating.

@FatBettyintheCoop I was wearing size 20 clothes from places like H&M curve.

@Freethenipp your Dad's not nasty or a psycho etc as some posters have suggested... if you decide to believe that then you'll only end up causing an atmosphere and end up not speaking to each other as these feuds often escalate quickly... he's from a different generation and sometimes people from older generations come out blunt even though they mean well... your Dad is most likely coming from the viewpoint of wanting you to be healthy like all parents do but could have worded it differently... just carry on BFeeding, eat healthily and exercise and you'll get there... just tell him that you know best and he should accept it...

@TeachesOfPeaches if I was posting asking on people’s experiences of weight loss surgery I’d be grateful for your response but to go out of your way on a MH post about how devastated I am about this to post how their weight loss surgery was great is so odd and insensitive.. the mind boggles at some people.

Im losing weight like I have done before, by diet and exercise and I don’t want to spend thousands of pounds on dangerous surgery to get part of my stomach cut away, especially when I’m still breastfeeding.