Rage and tears - Do I need to see a GP or is this normal?

[Boysboys1]

I've seen so many threads about feeling angry on here. It makes me so sad so many women feel this way so I wanted to reach out with my own thoughts and seek some help.
I'm a mum of 2 - 3 and 6 and from the beginning I've been all-in. I don't say that in a way to try and be better than anyone else, just to try to explain. When my eldest was born, I had a tough birth and on reflection was incredibly close, if not suffering, from PND (I don't think it got that far). My husband traveled a lot and although he thinks he was supportive, I did almost everything, with very little help from anybody (I know this is very common). My second child has been exclusively breastfed for 3 years (although obviously eating now too!) and the first time I had an evening out was around 4 months ago.
Since then I have started to slowly rebuild a social life (maybe one wine a week!) and take up my interests again - I also work part time. BUT this seems to have come with SO much anger. I feel like I was sleep-deprived before and happy getting along and absolutely adore my children. Now, the slightest thing and I feel an anger rising in my chest, I'm angry at my parents, I'm angry at my husband and I frequently snap or feel on the verge of tears over small things. Before my last period I also had really bad PMT and woke up sweating and having the most horrific nightmares. It's very unlikely to be peri-menopause as I'm only in my early 30s and my periods are very regular. I'm also not on contraception or medication. It just all seems to have coincided with getting a bit of my independence back. I'm at a loss! Has anyone experienced this? Sorry for the long post!

To me it sounds like although it was your aim to be "all in" in reality it was a Lot to cope with - re OH, feeding, pnd. Were you able to really express to anyone how you were feeling through those years? Becoming a parent is totally life changing for women in a way it just isn't for most men. It may be that now, the stress of those early years is catching up with you - and there is a lot of anger in there. Personally, as someone who's experienced a lot of stressful events I'd say that having some counselling would be a good idea if you can, to explore these feelings and rant away... I would also go to gp and ask for a general check up, bloods etc to make sure there isn't anything going on behind the scenes - deficiencies, thyroid etc. Best wishes.

Could be PMDD

I came on to post a similar title thread and found yours. I'm not in your position of having little ones and so much on. Mine are now 12 and 9, I no longer work so have very little going on or stress to deal with. As someone else's said the stress may be catching up with you now you have time to breathe and do things for yourself again and maybe that's making you realise what you missed whilst others didn't make the same level of sacrifice or give you more support.

I've always been very emotional and too sensitive but I have been having rage filled outbursts for a few years now.

I think the early ones were towards my DH where I was so angry and resentful. Going into why would be a whole thread in itself. This was when the kids were younger and I had a lot more on though unlike you I did have family help when I was at work. I can't seem to let go of these things and around the time of the month I can feel the anger build when I think of them.

This isn't to say that DH isn't a wonderful dad and partner as he is and he is now carrying me whilst I'm not working without complaint ( we can get by on his income alone now). I crashed out of my job last year after working for over 15 years. I couldn't cope emotionally anymore.

I'm now sat in tears after having a not very nice outburst at a stranger where I should not have reacted that way. Early ones were me bringing up resentment and anger but reacting in a way that was sudden and too much. Otherwise like today I just explode but the outbursts and subsequent tears do seem to be around my period. Then I'm filled with shame.

A few years ago I went to the GP after a particular outburst and was instantly prescribed anti depressants and advised to start doing something mindful like yoga. I stopped taking them as I forgot them on holiday and never resumed. I'm not sure that's the issue though. My blood tests at the time showed very low iron and vitamin d levels and although they do contribute to fatigue and low mood I don't think it's just that. I was told I wasn't in peri though I had a few incredibly heavy flooding periods for a few months which then went back to normal. I had a scan which showed a fibroids but nothing to be worried about.

I've just looked up PMDD which I hadn't heard of and I can tick off everything there but I'm sure I wasn't this bad ten or twenty years ago.

I would go to see your GP and get bloods checked etc as someone else advised. Even if it's not the reason or whole reason you may find there are things that need treating that are contributing to how you feel. I hate seeing the GP so am going to try and make myself take the same advice now as it's been 4 years since last visit about this.