What’s wrong with me!?

[Mamaandbub]

Sooo… I have a 20 month old, traumatic pregnancy (extreme hyperemesis, anxiety, stunted growth, the list goes on) but a good labour.

I deffo had the baby blues pretty badly and post natal rage. I found EVERYTHING unbelievably annoying other than my son. But this got better and life felt good.

I deffo noticed a decline in my mood in the last year but nothing dramatic.

Then recently I’ve lost my connection with the world. I get so irritated with my husband, I don’t even how I feel towards him anymore. I love my son more than anything but do get overwhelmed and feel I can’t connect with him sometimes.

i just feel generally unhappy, I don’t know who I am anymore, I’ve lost all interest in everything and everyone.

I just feel very lost. I’ve recently gone back to full time work. I don’t know if it’s a common feeling to have when things change or if there’s something actually wrong with me.

Anyone experienced this? I’m not sure what I’m asking really just hope I’m not alone and that it will get better

You sound depressed. Speak to your GP. You probably need anti depressants

It does sound like you might have depression OP - write down all your symptoms and show your GP. They might offer you some kind of therapy and / or anti-depressants. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Also, it might be worth finding out if any support is available through your work.

Yes I had this and went to see a counsellor about integrating my new mum life with my previous sense of self. It really helped.

I would get your hormone levels tested before I'd start AD's. If it's a hormonal issue, AD's can make it worse.

Sorry to hear you're going through all of this. I know it might feel very hard and uncomfortable to reach out at first, but your GP will be able to help you. Talking therapy did wonders for my depression (I had post natal depression and anxiety) and I've had a fantastic experience with anti depressants. If you can afford to go private for talking therapy (CBT was great for me) then do as the NHS waiting list is very long and I've found I get a lot more out of my private sessions than I did with the NHS ones (not bashing the NHS, they're bloody saints). All the best to you

Thank everyone. I don’t really want to go to my gp as they are useless but maybe some private counselling would help…