So sorry if this isn't the right place for this. The plan for our week off was to keep our DS in nursery for 3 days this week, so my partner could tackle our awful garden over a couple of days and then the 3 of us would have the rest of the week to do things together.
Turns out I have been suffering from flu since Sunday and my partner has been working in the garden for 3 days solid. I'm so grateful but watching him do so much and being advised by him to rest has made me feel awful.
I felt really burnt out by the end of last week and was so ready for a break but all this time alone and being unable to do much has been such a shock to the system. I am looking at myself with disgust, why am I so ugly and why are all my clothes too small for me? Why is the house so disorganized and untidy? I honestly feel like the biggest failure as I'm not able to keep busy in the way I usually would. I'm not ill very often but it seems to have taken a real toll on my mental state.
It's like I know I'd tell anyone else to be kinder to themselves but I feel so undeserving. I feel like everyone around me is just so resilient and great. I don't know why any of them put up with me.
How do you talk yourself out of this circling negative self talk?