I have a relative who after years in an abusive relationship is a mess. She is better than she was. Initially we were having to tell her to change her underwear and have a wash but she isn't much better. She might not be saying she will walk into the sea but she almost appears numb. She says she is fine now. I don't think she is and neither do several others but we are not next of kin. She doesn't care about herself at all. Not even enough to brush her teeth or cut her toenails.
She is barely functioning. She desperately needs help to clean and tidy her house, see a dentist about her rotting teeth, get a haircut and some clothes that fit her.
Meanwhile her adult children dump their kids and pets for her to look after. They are happy enough to leave her as is because who would look after the kids.
I hate the way her children are basically carrying on where their father left off. They only bother with their mum for care of the kids in the school holidays and for weekends.
When other relatives have brought up that she is struggling. One offspring said they would "Chuck her in a home or sheltered housing because they don't have time to deal with her.
I really want to help her but don't actually know