I’ve ruined everything

[roundandrounditgoes1234]

I am an overly anxious person with ocd and I have ruined this weekend by testing for covid because I didn’t feel right and getting a positive back - I work with lots of people and I was going to see my vulnerable mum
I was supposed to be going away for the weekend with dh and I can see that he thinks that I should just get on with it and go. I felt terrible yesterday and day before - head aches sore throat snotty and coughing but feel a bit better today. He’s said come on come. I know there’s no legal reason why I can’t but morally it’s wrong ! I’m positive and have been Ill still not feeling right and it’s only day 3. Advice is to isolate for 5 days that’s Monday !
my ocd is re harming others inadvertently and going away knowing you’re contagious and so spreading it around is do wrong . We would be at a large gathering.
the guilt is eating away at my on one hand saying you’ve let him down (he’s going anyway) and the other is saying you are doing the right thing but why did you test - ignorance is bliss !
im working from home and todays first day I’ve Felt I can do that
I don’t know what I’m asking but i guess it’s would you follow guidance if you knew you were positive !
i hate these never ending thoughts

I would be 100% backing you in this. IMO you did the responsible thing by testing and then isolating. My DS has got symptoms currently (his brother had covid last week so likely to be that) but his test is currently negative. We are cancelling our weekend plans so we don’t give whatever he does have to anyone else. Yes, it sucks and it’s disappointing to have plans ruined yet again. But I’d rather have some disappointed family than cause someone to be seriously I’ll with covid.

I don't have OCD, but I would have tested as you did, and I definitely wouldn't be going to a large gathering (and my partner would be making me feel guilty too).

Thanks @piratehugs @TheCatIsBack
that really helps / he’s leaving to go now and I can see him thinking you’re fine you should come
that’s the point though isn’t it - it’s a virus you can’t see it !

I would back you up 100%, and what’s more, so would my DH - he wouldn’t dream of putting others at risk, especially as we both have covid right now and it’s much worse than either of us anticipated. You are doing the right thing. Nobody would thank you if you infected them and then they all miss other events, holidays, etc.

You felt ill and were sensible. Not your fault plans have to change.

You have not ruined anything. Stop blaming yourself! You have caught an infection which you don’t want to spread to vulnerable people. You are absolutely doing the right thing by isolating. Look after yourself and feel better soon!🌻

I don't have OCD or anxiety and can't see what you think you have done wrong?
You have behaved responsibly and sensibly.
It is hardly your fault that you have caught a highly infectious illness.
Hope you feel better soon.

What to do when husband stays up late watching youtube, tv ect. He'll go on phone as soon as you fall asleep. Next day, he's tired n naps. Says he'll try not to do, but doesn't try. He also has a mood disorder and we fight if it's brought up.

I suppose the thing is that a lot people just wouldn’t test now if they felt Ill because they would dread having to dj the right thing. maybe in different circumstances where you don’t work with the public in large groups you could get away with if snd just stay low key a couple of days but for me I couldn’t stay away from my customer facing job without good reason and I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was spreading it around. I’m So cross that I’m having to question myself on this when I’ve done nothing wrong, I’m disappointed naturally but equally these things happen - maybe I just shouldn’t care as much

What would you / he do if you had D&V which might or might not be Norovirus? You can't test for that so you wouldn't know, but you wouldn't go spreading it about regardless.
Same principle applies to COVID - just cos you can test doesn't make doing the right thing any less appropriate

I honestly don't think this is anything to do with your MH, you are being responsible. The district nurses who come in to my CEV DH daily have gone back into masks. You were going to a large gathering where it won't be possible to distance. Covid is going to wane (please!) but we're not quite there yet and although most people who get it will be fine, thankfully, there are still those who will have issues. Thank you for being considerate.

A friend of mine the other day when I said I was looking forward to the weekend but had a sore throat and was keeping everything crossed said simple don’t test ! How can some people sleep at night ! I would have spent so long worrying it would have taken the enjoyment out of it.

You haven't let anyone down. You have been responsible. You tested and you're positive so you can rest and take care of yourself.

Anyone with a shred of decency would isolate. I don't know of any Country that says, if you're positive go spread that shit.

The only way we can get through this is. If people stop knowingly spreading this. Yes we've vaccines, but they don't work for everyone. Anyone with immune issues struggles daily trying to avoid covid, same for people with ill health.

I got it really bad, it was no cold or flu. I don't want it again. I'm still restricting my disabled dds movements due to her extremely bad health. But we're still doing most things, obviously avoiding places with people we know have it like my sil who tested positive today and is still going to the 80th birthday party tomorrow night. That place is going to be packed with vulnerable people but she doesn't care. She said SHE feels fine.... Oh right... Sure that's OK then, once your feeling fine.

You've done the right thing, you would never forgive yourself if you passed it onto your mother or someone in your company.

Thanks @Thethreecs i hope you’re dds remain well and stay safe
it makes sense when I type it but of course aside from the cough and a bit of sneezing I’m feeling better today (day 3) so I guess I see his point but just because the symptoms are less it doesn’t mean I’m magically not contagious after only a couple of days . If I was guidance would be “if you test positive” and you feel ok go fill your boots and socialise like crazy ! It’s reassuring to know at least some people would have dealt with it in the same way

If you hadn't tested and you'd given it to your vulnerable mum and she was hospitalised with it, then how would you have felt? Yanbu, he is wrong and you are right. And sensible. He's a selfish twat.