Struggling today

[HerRoyalHappiness]

Today is a bad day.

I have

Psychotic depression
PTSD
Anxiety
Autism
ADHD
Arthritis
Fibromyalgia
Hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome
De quervains tenosynovitis

All of this leaves me hearing voices, hallucinating, in pain and exhausted.
I haven't slept more than 3 hours in days and not more than 5 hours a night in the last month.
I've tried zopiclone. It had no effect. I'm waiting on a prescription for an antihistamine that should hopefully have a drowsy effect. That should be ready tomorrow.

My son is 13, depressed, anxious and was threatened with a knife the other day thread here so I've got that worrying me.

I also have an 8 year old with selective mutism so I worry about her, and an autistic 6 year old. It's none stop. I'm a single parent. Their dad is useless.

So today I'm struggling. The voices are bad. The pain is bad. The exhaustion is bad but I still can't sleep. Everything seems heavy.
I phoned the crisis team and they suggested I get a bath... I can't get in and out of the bath due to my disabilities and my mum can't help (she is my carer) as I'd need lifting and I'm 20st (I am trying to change this but it's not happening)
I explained this through sobs because I just want it all to end and they suggested I lie down for a bit. So I did. All it did was make me feel worse.

And now I've had to collect the kids from school and make tea and pretend it's all OK when it's really not. I just wish there was more support out there.

Rant over. I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere before I explode.

I think you need to speak to your GP as soon as possible. you and your children deserve and need better help. Don’t give up asking

I spoke to my GP yesterday. It didn't go well. He refused to even try and help me, told me to phone my mental health team. So I did. I don't know where else to turn. I put in a complaint against the GP as he was condescending and the way he spoke to me was uncalled for. He told me that nothing could be done for me as I'd tried zopiclone already and asked how on earth I was caring for my children with being disabled, then asked me if I really need my antidepressants or am i just a bit sad... If he had read my notes he'd see how important they are. But nope. He insinuated I wasn't really depressed, can't care for my kids and didn't even try and discuss sleep hygiene with me at the very least.

If you ever need someone to talk to ring the Samaritans.

I would request to be seen by a different GP as soon as possible. Speak to your practice manager if necessary.

I'm not an expert but could you be prescribed medication which is both an antidepressant and anti psychotic such as Olazapine? It is an old drug but it may help or there may be something newer around.

I also think your (new GP) should refer you to a mental health worker/CPN to check on you.

I

I'm already on an antipsychotic, aripiprazole. I used to be on olanzipine and quetiapine but none of them worked very well for me.

I'm under the early intervention service and have a team around me due to my psychosis, so I have a care coordinator, psychiatrist and a therapist who I do CBT with. I've had a phone call with my care coordinator. She's going to request I have extra therapy sessions and get me a meeting with the psychiatrist ASAP to discuss medication doses. It just doesn't help in the short term when everything seems so difficult.

Ah, sounds like you have some good mental health support OP. I had a bad day today and rang the samaritans. It helped to talk, I would recommend it.

I hope things improve for you

Thanks. I'll try the samaritans once the kids go to bed.