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Mental health

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Telling a partner about depression

4 replies

1flewover · 02/07/2022 01:55

During an argument over our different parenting styles, I told my husband that I have been depressed for months and he got angry. He thinks I've kept him in the dark and I don't communicate with him and I'm selfish. He's been sleeping in the spare room for over a week. Years back when I had postnatal depression he couldn't deal with it and more or less said he couldn't handle things so I've struggled to tell him this time but I'm struggling with his reaction this time. I tell him I'm depressed and need his support and he's blamed and accused me and stayed he thinks I like feeling this way. Then for two days completely ignored me, now is talking to me about every point less thing there is but still sleeping in the spare room. I just don't know what to do, I'm so tired.

OP posts:
onemorerose · 02/07/2022 02:05

Thats shit, do you think his behaviour has a part in your depression.
Also wondering does he feel that it’s a reflection on him that you are depressed?
Reading this back, a kind, loving and supportive partner wouldn’t make the fact that you are depressed about him and huff of to the spare room.

1flewover · 02/07/2022 02:12

Thanks @onemorerose he definitely sees it as a reflection on him. He just point blank refuses to understand depression he takes everything as a criticism, I try and explain its not about him and the kids I know I'm lucky but at this moment I can't help feeling like this. When I had post natal depression I attempted suicide and I know he couldn't deal with. But 12 years on I really thought his response would be different this time. I even tried to explain why it took me so long to tell him and all he said was "so you are blaming me".
Anyway, thanks for reading and responding ♥️

OP posts:
Autienotnaughtie · 02/07/2022 02:59

It sounds like it's triggered something for him. Taking him back to that place 12 years ago. No good to you though as you need help and support now Flowers

SLHypnotherapy · 02/07/2022 16:43

At times a partner can often feel quite helpless when they learn of something like this. Your partner is in a part of his brain which works in anxiety, anger and depression. He is most likely scared and as someone has already pointed out, may have gone back to a time that was dark for you both. I would engage with him in the small talk....eventually it will probably lead to bigger things

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