need to let it all out before I explode.

[needtorant]

I have name changed - although you'll probably guess who I am - if you do please don't mention it.

in 5 days time i'm meant to be moving house, so am stressed out from that, on my own trying to do everything but don't seem to be getting anywhere fast. every time I pack up a box DS unpacks it he's climbing in and out of all of the boxes as I make them up (which ok is quite amusing for me to watch but anyhow)

When H left I had an incline there was someone else involved - he confirmed to me on the weekend that indeed there was (apparently one he's not met but the other he has). I'm pulled by XH wanting me to do everything - apparently i'm super woman and can cope alone & manage all the bills etc on the measley amount he gives me - even though apparently I wouldn't be screwed over with money by him (yeah right) all he says is 'why am I paying your phone bill - er because you were the one who ran it up ringing 090 bloody numbers he's ordered some clothes from one of my catalogues (which is currently being held) and all I hear from him is when's it coming - when I pay the bill and it's sent he seems to think that I have a bottomless pit of money.

The house i've got is lovely, but am now being pulled by my parents - who have helped out so much already esp with the deposit/rent etc but they're mo that H should be stepping up more and doing more for us - H is moaning that he's only going to have £700 if he's lucky per month to live on (he pays no rent or food out of this and no other bills just needs to run a car) when I say yeah well I have less than that for a month to feed clothe and do all my utility bills for me and DS I get stared at. Then when I say I'll have to go back to work and if need be get 2 jobs - one at home in the afternoons one on a night I get well then DS will never see you (implying that DS would be better left with him)

DS is whining all the time - and i'm prob not paying him as much attention/quality time as I should do he's not particularly sleeping either. This week is the first in the last 4 months when i've been on the verge of tears every day, I just don't know what to do, or what's going to happen. All I want is a big hug and for someone to say everything will be ok.

Sending hugs to you! You have so much going on and I am not surprised that things have got on top of you but I am sure that everything will work out....keep your chin up...x

thanks karen, all I keep thinking is I shouldn't be moving a the mo, right now I should be getting excited about a new arrival who should have been due next month,

and the bloody readers digest have just sent me a book I said I didn't want fgs. yet something else to sort out.

Take a breather! Have a cuppa and sit down - even just for 10 minutes. You shouldnt be dealing with all this but the fact is you are....but you have to remember that it will get better and you will be a stronger person for getting through it......try not too stress. And the packing will get done eventually.....make it a game for ds to see how many things he can cram into a box....and then seal it very quickly before they come out again! Or give him his own box to play with....hope you start to feel better soon.x

we've stopped for lunch, will do some more when he's napping this afternoon - to be fair the removals said they'd do it all for me if I wanted them to. (just don't like the idea of someone fondling my undies! lol) DS's idea of packing is either getting in the box, or taking one thing out as I out something else in. it's just all getting too much at the mo.

Oh....I take it you are still feeling very down? How has your afternoon been?

not so good, got a lot done, but there's always another hurdle. i've had enough of trying to fight everything, & clear up a mess I never wanted or started while H just gets to carry on as if nothing has happened.

I know. It can be frustrating. But you have to remember that you are making positive steps towards a future for you and ds...

And you will end up the better and stronger person for it...

Try not to let it get you down too much....xx