I wasn't prepared for this (menopause related)

[Onedayatatime24799]

I'm 46, and a mum of 4.
This began 6 months ago (perimenopause) but I just wasn't prepared for it being this intense.
My own mum suffered terribly, but friends of the same age and older say they have yet to experience any of it (one is 53 and happily tells me she has not had a single sign). I guess we are all different, but I don't think anything could have prepared me for how I feel.
It has moved up a gear this month and I just feel both mentally and physically drained.

I have seen the GP recently about my low mood - very tearful/ crying at the drop of the hat (although to be fair I am dealing with a lot at the moment - 2 of my 4 children are very severely disabled - different unrelated disabilities. My eldest is 23 and lives in Adult Supported Living. I am fulltime carer to my 11 year old. 13 year old on the waiting list for ASD assessments and I have ASD myself).
I am also suffering terribly with my anxiety and having several big panic attacks a week.

The GP has referred me for Talking Therapy. I've already had my assessment and the first session is later this month.

I am unsure whether to mention my hormones to the GP as I am worried he will just say it's something all women have to go through
My periods are just starting go a bit erratic - very slightly longer cycles (I've always been 25 days but the last 3 months have been 29 days). I've had much bigger build ups to the period starting - 2 weeks of horrendous PMS (mostly the tearfulness).
I struggle with concentration (I love reading but none of it sinks in). My short term memory is rubbish. Headaches. Feeling dizzy.
The worst symptom at the moment is really painful wrists. The pain is so bad I could cry. It's just constant.
My legs are weak and feel like they could give way.
Then the shaky hands.
I'm constantly tired and just don't know what to do.

I'm scared to go on HRT as I'm worried about the side effects.

There's nothing to worry about with HRT, give it a try, I felt better within 48hrs, I don't know anyone who has bad side effects, only good, if you don't like it you can stop but I don't think you'll regret it.

Also as an aside don't put up with nightmare periods that often accompany peri menopause, there are lots of options to deal with them, coil, ablation etc

So much about health is a balancing act. Look at all the debilitating and distressing 'side effects' you are experiencing at the moment then talk to your doctor about any specific issues with taking HRT; only then can you make an informed decision.

Don't be worried what your GP thinks. If you are going through peri-menopause then you are going through it, you don't HAVE to be a certain age. I'm 54 and only started about a year ago but I have friends in their mid 40s who are already on HRT.
Ask at your practice to deal with an HRT specialist if you need to - don't be fobbed off.

I had similar symptoms - virtually suicidal PMT episodes that were really quite frightening, more erratic and heavier periods, night sweats, loss of energy and constant low mood, and I wish I'd gone onto HRT sooner. I am still amazed at how much energy I have!

I have opted for gel oestrogen and a mirena coil. As MissSmiley says, you can always stop if you don't get on with it, but for me, the benefits have massively outweighed the small risks.

It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. HRT isn't that scary, and the side effects have been negligible for me. Don't compare yourself with anyone else, this is your body and your symptoms. I'd advise watching some of Dr Louise Newsome's videos on YouTube.

I had a break down last year driven by anxiety at 46 and was put on sertraline - this helped but I've recently started on HRT and feel so much brighter mentally.

If your GP reacts in the way you think, you ask to see someone else!

You DO NOT have to put up with this.

As a woman of likely menopausal age, you are entitled to have HRT.