Non-medical ways of boosting mental health?

[savebuckbeak]

Been feeling really, really low. Mainly due to circumstances. Fell very ill recently and having to adjust to a long-term disability, it seems. I see my friends and try and get outside when possible but still just wake up every day with a flat, "what's the point", "why am I even here" feeling. No joy to be found in anything. It's like I've forgotten what makes me happy. I genuinely can't seem to access it.

Any tips? Even silly small things? x

Cold water swimming is a game changer for me but I have to make plans to do it with other people otherwise I just don’t make the effort. Lots of areas have BlueTits groups where you can meet other people and join swimming meet ups.

I find my diet has a huge impact on my mental health too, when I’m down/tired etc I eat rubbish and then feel worse. Meal planning that are quick and easy and a proper shop full of vegetables helps a lot.

Try and get out for a walk, listen to music or even a podcast. Just to give yourself a bit of breathing space.
Go at your own pace, go your own distance, just follow your feet. ❤

on bbc sounds there is the happyiness podcast which looks at scientific research into what makes people happy.

For me exercise, fresh air, diet and meditation all help massively.

making time for me and realising I don’t need to feel guilty about doing so.

Eat healthily, drink lots of water, keep a journal, go out of the house every single day even if it's just for a walk round the block, buy yourself some flowers, plants some seeds and watch them grow, get a bird table and watch the garden birds - endless entertainment. Write a good old fashioned letter to a friend/your mum, chat about the positive things in your life.

Puppy cuddles (kittens if you're that way inclined)

Walks in nature

A very engaging, immersive sport that gives you no choice to focus in the moment... Generally the more dangerous the better.

Vitamin D really made a difference to me

You say you are having to adjust to a long term disability, obviously I don’t know what this means in terms of your physical movement, but I saw this today.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jun/29/move-yourself-happy-how-to-exercise-boost-mood-fitness-level

For me it is ultimately the cold hard reality of taking responsibility for myself rather than doing nothing and expecting not to feel rubbish.

For example, it's having the control to not listen to sad songs if I am feeling sensitive as I know this will make me feel worse. No matter how much I want to listen to them.

It's avoiding things that might make me feel worse. Or if I have to do or think about these things then I promptly do what is needed and then I have to be very strict with myself to focus on the new time, day. For all I know that could be my last day.

It's prioritising taking care of my self. Not in the sense of going off and having a spa day. But in the sense of whereas before I might have engaged in self defeatist behaviours (not eating, suicidal tendencies ect) I try my best to have much more control. Because, I know I have to look after myself if not I will not get through the even worse times.

I try to take care of my emotional health in the way I expect my children's to be taken care of.

It's making time. I try my best to find one hour a week to do a hobby at home I enjoy. Again, with so little time and energy it is hard and requires discipline but it helps.

Other than that, distractions, good relationships, a bit of wisdom and remembering that everything is temporary including life.

So there we go. After a life of relentless depression, suicide attempts, having phases of putting all of my energy into resisting suicide and volunteering as a counsellor that is what I have arrived at. It is being in such control of yourself and behaving in a way that isn't dictated by your feelings.

It doesn't make depression go away. It does make it easier to cope with.

Concentrate on gut health.

‘’For me it is ultimately the cold hard reality of taking responsibility for myself rather than doing nothing and expecting not to feel rubbish.

For example, it's having the control to not listen to sad songs if I am feeling sensitive as I know this will make me feel worse. No matter how much I want to listen to them.

It's avoiding things that might make me feel worse. Or if I have to do or think about these things then I promptly do what is needed and then I have to be very strict with myself to focus on the new time, day. For all I know that could be my last day.

It's prioritising taking care of my self. Not in the sense of going off and having a spa day. But in the sense of whereas before I might have engaged in self defeatist behaviours (not eating, suicidal tendencies ect) I try my best to have much more control. Because, I know I have to look after myself if not I will not get through the even worse times.

I try to take care of my emotional health in the way I expect my children's to be taken care of.’’

Ouch. As someone who is sitting here having had a bad few days and is currently listening to ‘Sad 70s’ on Spotify, I felt that! Sometimes I need something like this to wake me up a bit, thank you @Yourstory

Things that have worked for me.

Self-help books - Cheer up love by Susan Calman and Habits for Happiness (on Audible). I can recommend both.

Fresh air every day.

Looking nice for yourself, so no wearing the same jeans all week, break out that dress and get a hair cut or paint your nails.

Accepting the joy of a small win. So if today you don't feel well enough to go out make sure that every hour you get up and do something useful like making the bed or putting the washing on. At the end of the day you can look back and feel like you still managed to achieve something.

Find something to do that empties your mind - embroidery and colouring in are my favourites, that and baking.

Accept that some days are hard.

Sorry. I know if someone was to sit and say that to me when I am feeling horrendous I would want to just scream but I just can't you don't get it. I know it isn't as easy as it sounds. I am only just getting better with it all really, despite having a few very difficult weeks.

So many people turn to counsellors expecting them to have all the answers. Whilst they can support people and open up a convo they aren't magicians. The only person that can really do the change work is the person who needs it doing. Sadly, that requires a lot of effort and energy when people feel they have nothing left.

I know I have no choice but to take as best care as I can of myself now, like it or not. I cannot cope any other way so I have to maintain that control.

Enough sleep, dealing with the toxic people in your like, reduce leisure screen time by at least 30%, make yourself knowledgeable about things that confuse you, nurture your friendships, be trusting and kind but also assertive. Fake it till you make it. Get a dog and got for walks!

@Yourstory Different people respond different ways. I was watching a programme recently, the tutor was saying something like ‘you tried hard, there’s room for improvement’ and the student said ‘be harsh, I respond better to it’ and he said ‘well ok you embarrassed yourself, it was shit’ and I realised in that moment I’m like that. Be nice and kind and gentle and whatever, that’s lovely. But give me a kick up the arse, hard, and it wakes me up into doing something. For me personally, harsh words work.

Sleep - how's your sleep? Are you getting enough?

Nutrition - eat lots of protein and veg and reduce (or eliminate if you can) processed carbs and sugar. Complex carbs are ok.

Exercise - out in the fresh air if possible.

Relaxation - what do you like to do to relax? Chat to friends? Listen to music? Read? Cook?

Mental stimulation - exercise for your mind. We need to keep our brains active and learn. Reading, puzzles, learn something new or read a non fiction book on something you'd like to learn more about.

Reduce social media and mindless phone usage.

Meditation is amazing, has changed my life, as a starting point I love Mindfulness, Finding Peace In a Frantic World. Has short guided meditations, best as an audio book.

Another audio book I love is End The Struggle And Dance With Life. Really helped me to change mindset and feel interested in and exhilarated by life again even though circumstances hadn't changed.

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling low 💐

I guess that's true. I just didn't want to offend or for anyone to think I was being patronising like it is just easy. I know it isn't and my heart goes out to everyone that is here reading this thread because they are struggling right now.

Well, I hope it helps and good luck with everything.

Only reading books/ watching films or TV that I will enjoy. Never mind if it's meant to be somehow 'improving'. Pleasure only!

Swimming in the sea or lake

Walking in the greenest bit I can find, park, or tree lined street or woods

Getting the sun on my skin whenever it appears

Audiobooks & podcasts about wellbeing

Getting an early night

Eating well, considering my gut health

Having regular haircuts

Thanks all for the lovely suggestions. Definitely going to try some of these soon.

Diet is the most important, and exercise. Makes you feel so much better, even when it's a huge effort to start with.

I love finding random films to watch; reading; baking; walking the dogs in different places. A walking app may be a good idea or joining something like the National Trust - mine is £10 a month and we've got a huge local estate that we can walk round. Makes me feel so happy to sit near the lake and watch the world go by.

Yes exercise - however you like it. and cold water swim, if you're not near a pool, cold showers or baths work too. Try a weighted blanket if you haven't already.

Michael Mosley has a do one thing series which is great self care advice.