Have never felt this low before

[catsypug]

Hi - I'm new here on the feeling depressed board.

Having a horrible time right now and just wanted to post to vent a little - I'm 4 months pregnant and have a 2.3 year old DD and just feel so alone.

My DH has set up his own company which means we hardly ever see him including most weekends. We're skint and tired. I have hardly any friends - we've just moved to a new area, the friends I did have have all moved away from London now to be near their families - my parents moved abroad last year when they retired so they are not really a support. My inlaws are in Scotland and I'm an only child so no brothers or sisters around.

For a while now when I wake up I have this sinking feeling like I can't face the day. DD is always nice in the morning but as the day wears on it's just a bloody battle over everything and I don't have the energy anymore. She's been hitting me a lot recently and throwing things at me which she never used to do.

Feel like it's crunch time and I should be out there meeting new people and getting a positive new social life for myself but of course I can't I'm pregnant and stuck at home with a 2 year old who I feel hates me sometimes. I'm usually a good mum and quite patient but I've been so short tempered with her recently - I can't bear the tantrums and the defiance anymore. Today I have just been unable to stop crying and couldn't even function to make her dinner. Just gave her toast and sat sobbing on the sofa. I feel like such a shit mum. Putting her to bed tonight she called me horrible! She's only 2!

Hi, you're probably not feeling great with all the hormones because you're pregnant. I'm sure your dd doesn't hate you, even if it feels like it sometimes. She is just being a normal 2yo, finding her feet and how much she can push you. Just be strong and stick to any rules you have for her. Can you go to a parent and toddler group, or something similar?

Oh catsy, you're having a horrible time! I don't normally venture on this board as have nothing useful to add, but didn't want your thread to disappear off active convos without an answer.

You're two-year-old sounds pretty typical I'm afraid, but it does get better, I promise. They say if they get it out of their systems when they're little, they're not so bad when they're teenagers. It may not be true, but it was a comfort to me when my dd was 2.

The lack of support sounds terrible, but the last thing you should do is shut yourself away. Being pg is no excuse - unless you're horribly unwell with it, are you? I really think you need to make the effort to get out and meet new people. It'll be good for your dd too. Take her swimming, find some M&T groups. Really. Please.

When my three were very little, I sometimes felt I was on a miserable spiral where they were horrible and naughty and told them off, and they were more horrible and I told them off some more. And so it went on. But sometimes, in the mornings when I had the energy, I would just take a deep breath and turn it around. It took a lot of tongue-biting, but if I made the effort, and boy was it an effort, but it really helped. Try and start the day positive, go out early, before things start to deteriorate.

And talk to your dh - it's important that he knows how you feel. I know he's got a lot on his plate too, but you need a break, even just a couple of hours, when he's home. Could your mum/parents plan a visit to help out? If not now, then later when you're closer to having dc2?

Sorry, went on a bit there - cluckiemama was so much more concise! Your post just brought back a lot of memories!

Have you looked for any Mners near you?

do you have a surestart centre near you?
they have a list of contacts for toddler groups and people you could talk to.

Agree get out early tire her out my 2 .5 yr old still has a nap and that time is a break for me.

Thanks guys that's really helpful - yes I'll give Surestart a look, hadn't heard of that. Feel brighter today. was worried I'd been spiralling into Antenatal depression - had a chat with DH last night (even though he didn't get in from work till 11pm) and DD hasn't been too bad so far today - only 5 or so tantrums!!

Will have a look at other MNers too.

Parents due over in Feb and then in June when I'm about to drop so they are supportive like that but it would just be nice if they were a bit closer I guess. Still can't have everything can we!

Oh Catsypug - your post took me straight back in time! Same situation - DH at work, DS toddler nightmare, endless morning sickness, and new house in unknown area.
Try not to let your home become a cage - I found it really hard to talk about how I felt; but tried to get out of the house and go somewhere every day - local library, M&T group, walk to the swings.
Better once DD's first few months were over and could begin to feel a bit more real again.
Feeling for you!

where are you living?

hey jus saw where you are. Not far from me. Jus a tube or bus away. Can arrange a meet if you like. My ds is two

Glad you're feeling better today. Make the most of it and get out!

Just saw where you are ...used to live in Barons Court. Deepest darkest Devon, which is a bit of a change.