I'm 23 living by myself and I'm so lonely

[Candyflossarmpits]

Hello

Bit of a stretch but is anyone in a similar situation? I don't have contact with my family for various reasons and so I live alone. I honestly feel so fucking sad every day all day. I work from home due to my health too. Don't know what to do I just hate feeling this low constantly

Do you have any hobbies to keep you busy? Maybe take up a class and meet new people?

Do you have city social where you live? It’s an app to make friends through social events, I used it when I moved cities and it was fab!

What about an evening class or two? Gym/swim at regular times so you are more likely to see the same faces and spark a conversation?

Longer term, have you considered a house share? They can often be great for social interaction at your stage in life. (But be aware they can be a bit shit if the people don’t really gel and there’s no camaraderie to offset the little disputes about dishes and vacuuming and watching tv in the lounge.)

I’m 29, and in the same boat. I got a dog, which has really helped me as it keeps you busy and gives less time to think about being lonely. It’s hard though, I totally get it.

Have you thought of counselling, op? Maybe it would help you, to work through the issues in your family which have led you to your feelings of isolation. If you are able to start talking to someone, in a safe space, about the painful place you’re in, it could help you to find the strength to move on.

If be lonely too. Does your health condition mean you can’t go out at all or is it more you can’t go many place?

Are there any clubs nearby which are for singles? (Not specifically for those looking for a partner) Things like walking groups, nature rambles, or a creative hobby.

I used to be like you candyfloss when I was younger as I had little interest in going out boozing, clubbing and the like but you aren't going to meet people if you stay at home watching telly or knitting - the world will not beat a path to your door. I eventually met my like-minded husband at work - then we enjoyed staying in together. I didn't meet him until I was 24 and I felt that I was a lost cause.

Could you go in to the office once a week to meet other colleagues for a catch-up? Please don't despair OP - if an introvert like me can make friends/find a partner there is hope for you too. Plus, you can be happy single as long as you can find a connection with other people.

I immediately thought dog too. Can you go for walks? A dog forces you to get outside and go for exercise, then you start to get dog friends, then you meet up with dog friends for walks too. You’ve also got company in the house too.

I also think there’s a tinder for friends too your not the only one in this position.

Op I'd be lonely too

have you looked at meetup.com ? I've recently moved to a new area and meeting loads of people this way. It's absolutely aimed at people in their twenties and thirties who've moved or whose friends have moved away and don't know anyone.

If you can't get a pet, have a look at borrow my doggy.

Counselling is another good idea mentioned above.

What are your interests? It's hard work meeting new people as an adult but if you embrace volunteering, hobby and interest based clubs and sites like meetup you'll soon develop a new group of friends x

@sweetkitty good point - bumble certainly has a friendship only function!

Yeah, living alone and working from home is bound to be lonely, without the added family and health issues.

Agree with previous PP about a house share.

Is there any way you could manage some sort of hybrid working model whereby you would go to a physical workplace a couple of days a week?

Or volunteer in a charity shop or food bank or something similar once a week, to give you some contact with other people?

Are there any support groups for your health condition that you could join?

Also, @Candyflossarmpits have a chat with your gp too.

Not just for the usual support with mental health but because if your health is keeping you at home then they might be able to help more proactively.

I lived in my own at your age. It's horrid. I suffered depression as a result and I felt so alone. I hated coming home from work and realising it was just me. I felt like an old woman. If you can move out. House shares aren't perfect but they aren't lonely.

If you can't do that give each day some structure and make sure you get some sort of human contact. You have to be disciplined about social things. Schedule them. Decide how much interaction you need. I need at least 4 days a week to make sure I don't feel alone. So make lunch plans, go to a class, go to work. You need to work at your social life and prioritise it.

@007DoubleOSeven im the same when we got the pup 9 years ago I met people in the local area, started texting them “when are you going for a walk?” So the dogs could socialise and we would chat whilst they walked. Then at the end of the walk we would go to Xs house fo a tea. Then it’s oh let’s do lunch then a night out. New hogs, new people, grandkids etc.