Have I developed OCD?

[AllHailKingLouis]

I have been suffering with horrible, awful, sickening intrusive thoughts. I’ve had intrusive thoughts for a while and they used to be pretty mild (such as thinking about knocking a tray out of someone’s hand, throwing a drink etc). Then they got worse when I got my dog and I imagined doing horrible things to her that always made me feel guilty and sickened - I would never have actually done them, I just used to play out these horrible scenes in my head and then I’d have to stroke her or touch her in some way to make the “horrible” go away.

Then my granddaughter was born and I can no longer cope with these awful thoughts. They’re no longer focussed on the dog (although I still get them but they’re now overshadowed by the thoughts of awful things happening to my granddaughter. She doesn’t live with me so whilst I had to touch my dog to make the thoughts go away, I now have to look at photos of my granddaughter to make those thoughts go away.

it’s driving me insane. It’s making me think something will happen to her and I’ll be powerless to stop it … so I look at her photos again. I know this isn’t normal … so does it sound like I’ve developed OCD? I also have ADHD if that makes any difference.

can they actually treat ocd if it is that?

The fact you have to do something to ‘neutralise’ these thoughts suggest it could be OCD. I was officially diagnosed with OCD almost 3 years ago now (although I think I’ve had it since childhood) and I can live with it without medication just using the tools I’ve learnt in therapy to dealt with it day to day.
Is there a self referral service in your area for CBT? This is what I went through and I did exposure and response prevention with my therapist which worked really well.

OCDis definitely treatable, look at the OCD-UK website for loads of info.

My DS has OCD and this does sound similar. It is treatable with CBT techniques. I would speak to your GP. In the meantime we found this resource helpful: OCD self-help guide

Just read your post again and Spotted you mention having ADHD. It is quite common to have both. Are you on medication? We had to take our DS off stimulant meds as they were making the OCD worse unfortunately.

My DS has OCD and I've recently discovered my DM has it too. What you describe sounds the same. Look up OCD Action and OCD-UK for more information. Treatment is usually a combination of medication, such as Sertraline, and CBT with exposure therapy. It's usually very effective.

Remember that your brain is deliberately tormenting you with horrible things that you would never do. The trouble is that the more you try to appease those awful thoughts by carrying out your compulsions, the more power that gives to the OCD. The only way to get better is to stop giving in to the OCD 'bully', but you'll need professional support with that.

I hope you get help. It's a really horrible illness and absolutely exhausting to live with.

Yes that is OCD.

CBT for OCD is one of the most successful treatments of any mental health problem if done properly.

Remember: thoughts are just electrical impulses in your brain. They mean nothing and cannot make anything happen. Try thinking something about someone else deliberately without neutralising. Even if you really hate them you can't make it happen!

It's like quicksand - the more you try not to think something the more you think it. The more meaning you give it the more it comes back. Etc.

Get treatment. Enjoy your grandchild.