Starting to face hoarding

[HoardingProblem]

I have no support, no close family who don’t just think I’m weird. I’ve got a flat full of junk and I’m too embarrassed to even let anyone come here (not that anyone would want to). The thought of someone coming to my home makes me feel sick.

There’s just so much stuff, I can’t find anything if I’m looking for it. Even empty packaging, there’s so much I haven’t thrown away because I think I’ll reuse it - but realistically I have no use for it. I’m drowning in stuff, some decent, some garbage … and I have no idea how I get a grip on this. Anybody?

I think recognising there is a problem is the first step. On a practical level you need to think about how to get rid of stuff but just as important is not bring more stuff into the house.

Can you start in a small way.Take one of the boxes tomorrow and fill that box with rubbish?Do you have the recycling bags that go out for collection.Maybe start on paper.Can you put on some music and a timer for say half an hour and see what you can do.Even a little is a start.The have a cup of tea.It will take ages but you will feel more in control when you start.Good luck

Thank you. I have chronic mental and physical health issues, and I feel like it takes everything I have to get up and face the day at the moment. I noticed that if I acknowledge it to myself, I get extremely anxious and go down the avoidance route. Like - I will fixate on cleaning the part of the kitchen that’s usable, but not manage to tackle other parts that need the attention more.

I have sorted a lot of cardboard/paper into the recycling today, and the place looks barely any different. I will do another hour in the morning, and try not to get fixated on one thing. I’m absolutely dreading it, although I don’t understand why entirely. Facing up to the mess that is my life I guess.

Baby steps - get into a rhythm. Focus of cardboard & paper for now. Then pick a corner of a room, pick up some empty packaging, fill it with stuff you have not looked at in 6 months and remove (i.e. throw out). Make it a minimum of 5 things. Next day, pick another corner and repeat. As time goes on you will start to see a difference.

The timer suggestion is good as well. Just set for 20 mins max a time.

Hi I'm a declutterer. Most people call me in because they don't know where to start.
At least you acknowledge the problem and have made a start. That's positive!
It will take a while to see a difference but doing a bit everyday will get you on the right path.
I work with the client to help them let go of stuff. I sometimes have to persuade them that it's in their best interest to chuck or recycle stuff.
Private message me if you would like a person to support you from afar.

That's a really good start OP. You can do this. Progress in small chunks is great, just keep your momentum.

You’ve had some good advice OP and I hope you can manage to get on top of it, it must feel so overwhelming and I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this/your physical health and anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t manage all at once, baby-steps are still steps!
The only other thing I would add is please contact the (non-urgent) fire service to assess your home from a safety point of view. Hoarding is so much more common than you may realise and the fire service will not be shocked or judgemental (but them visiting and offering support/advice may well be life saving one day).
Best of luck with it😊

I’m just doing a massive de clutter because I’m about to live and it is a big job - and I would say that I do keep stuff I don’t need but I’m not a hoarder.

one of the things I’ve found hugely stressful is what to do with all the stuff! I don’t drive. I don’t have the time or energy to sell stuff online. So I’ve found some charities that come and pick up both furniture and bags (British heart foundation collect bags of things). So far I’ve had three separate pick ups! And for stuff that wasn’t good enough to give to charity I’ve just steadily thrown in the bin.

i also find it quite helpful to have a few passes over each room. So I’ll go through a wardrobe once and take out all the obvious stuff that can go. Then have a break from that area. Then come back again and realise that actually there’s more stuff that can go.

honestly it feels so liberating once you can get into it.

its bit clear if your hoarding is actually pathaologixal though. - I’m which case it would be much more distressing for your because of all the potential things it could trigger - in which case if you can I would suggest getting some specific therapy on it or getting in a declutter as referred to above. My friend hired a declutter to go though a storage room with all the stuff from her ex marital home and she said it made the world of difference.

oh I also should have said re the charity donations it might help you if you find a charity that you really want to help. I’ve now found a Childrens hospice that I really want to give my final load of stuff to. They don’t collect but my friend has offered to drive me and my stuff there - and it makes it a lot easier to let stuff go cause I really want to help the charity.

Great start and well done for recognising the hoarding issue.

One tip I picked up from a cleaner was to ensure the floor is clear first. Then you can start on everything else but it makes it easier if you can move easily.

Have 3 bin bags, one bag to chuck out rubbish, second to keep and final bag to recycle.

Be kind to yourself. Seeing that there is a problem is a huge step. Doing something about it is another huge step. Clearing what you have today is a brilliant start! Think about what you can do tomorrow and just do a little bit every day.

The problem with having a whole flat full of hoarding is that it takes a lot of effort to start to see progress. Taking photographs (not that you have to show them to
anyone else) is a good idea, so that you can compare them later.

One thing that I’ve learned is that I need to be in the right headspace to get rid of things. I’ve been able to get rid of a lot of old clothes and paperwork, but I still have a load of cuddly toys and also general “stuff” that I’m not ready to get rid of yet. One way that I’ve been able to get rid of some things that would otherwise have been difficult (brand new, still useful and too good to go to charity) is to give them to someone that I know who will be able to make use of them. All of my craft things and some old books have gone to a lady at work who enjoys crafting.

Now that I’m decluttering, I’m a lot more strict with my purchases. I’m also reducing my hiding places by getting rid of furniture that used to be filled with clutter.

I also have a cleaner now who comes once a week, and that’s really changed how the house feels.

ive been doing my declutter for about a month now and I really didn’t have an enormous amount of stuff so don’t feel at all bad about it taking a long time. Of course it will. Think of it as a lovely new hobby!

If you’ve got other health issues, you might be able to get help from social care to sort out your flat, and come up with a plan to keep it ok. It’s worthwhile calling your local adult help desk…they will be able to signpost you to organisations that can help if they can’t themselves.

I work in adult social care and we come across hoarding issues a lot. The difficulty is when people don’t want to change their situation. You do, and you’ve got to that stage yourself and you’ve started trying to sort it out. Well done you!! I’d hope that there are organisations local to you who would be able to help. I know people who would absolutely be delighted to work with people like you who want to change.