Any tips for pulling myself back? - not unwell but there are hints..

[StonyShaw]

Hi, I have had mild spells of low mood and anxiety off and on for ever. But they got worse around peri/menopause/after a stressful life event, and I had three spells on SSRIs over past 15 yrs or so, which I have found helpful.

I came off the last course around 9-12months ago as I felt ok, and have been fine since - until now.

I don't think there are exeptional stressors right now, as there are always some ... but perhaps aging mums health issues on top of adult child's job worries plus a niggling unfixed injury of my own are not helping? But none are a crisis! There has been no dramatic change in stress level iyswim, just that I seem to be struggling a bit more with rumination etc.

I have also started to sleep badly the last week or two, and I can kind of 'smell' that low worried despairing kind of taint in the air - the same feeling that has become overwhelmingly strong in the past, when I have needed medication to help me climb out.

Ideally I'd like to head this off at the pass and wondered if anyone had tips?

What I am trying is: exercise (tho slightly limited by the injury); keeping alcohol low (tho only ever around 7or8 units pw anyway) and sleep mask to try to sleep longer. But I am struggling at the start of the night, which is rare for me usually.

I am unusually irritable and intolerant ar the minute. I'm not a tolerant person when I'm well 😅, but I think I'm unreasonably ratty at the moment!

So this was a great long ramble- but wondered if anyone recognised themselves here, and had found a way to nip the situation in the bud before it became debilitating (I am functioning ok at the moment but just aware that could change unless I intervene effectively!)

Many thanks in advance. Am going out for a chunk of today so apologies if I don't respond quickly, but I was swearing at the hoover/my husband and just thought 'Stony you need to get some help'.

I know exactly what you mean. You sense it creeping up on you. I do think it's possible to fight it off if you catch it early enough.

When this happens to me I:

• cancel or reschedule anything that I know will make me feel awful (e.g. social events with people I don't know well; being on a volunteer rota etc)
• increase exercise. For me that's bootcamps and yoga but it could be running or dance - whatever helps you leave class feeling more upbeat
• ask DH/DC to do more around the house as I get really demotivated and then feel so low when the cobwebs and dust start accumulating. If you have a cleaner you could ask them to do an extra hour or so. Same with gardener.
• do all the small self care things: watch comedies and feelgood films not crime and news; play upbeat of soothing music; journalling; meditation; visualisation; salt baths, essential oils; take all the boosting supplements - herbal iron, Vit D spray, B-complex, L-Tyrosine etc; eat super healthy foods, nuts, fish, loads of different types of veg, cut back on sugar and alcohol as they dip the mood
• do some small new thing every day - anything at all - but make a mini project of it and note it down in a journal or even just in your head, consciously thinking: today I tried a new recipe; walked a new trail; listened to a podcast on a new topic etc. This massively helps unfreeze the brain
• schedule something small to look forward to each day (a walk, a coffee with a friend, a candlelit bath) a bit bigger to look forward to each weerk (trip to cinema, wild swim, comedy gig) even bigger each month (a weekend away, music gig)
• do something however small towards goals that matter to you, especially any you have put on hold. Even if it is just a quick email or a web browse. Record what you've done so you register it. I find when I'm down my brain forgets what I do and nags away at what I haven't done. Keeping track of what I do actually do is very useful.

Ooh goldfinch what a great list! Thank you! Ill look properly when I get back - just going out the door now :)

Well I found a new music podcast last night - much nicer than my usual "how awful is this government?!?" fare... And have earmarked a small job sorting out the non-closing cupboard door in the bedroom for today. Hopefully the sense of achievement will help.

Still not feeling great but definitely feel I am holding the line at least.

What I've realised is I need to be aware and careful continuously, like if youve got a bad stomach or something, to act preventively. We'll see how it goes but if anyone else has favourite tips I'm keen to learn.

I can't help from the point of view of having been in this situation, but I'm wondering if you have been able to share this with anyone in person ? Would this help, knowing someone who knew you knows??

Wishing you well

Hi@StonyShaw I recognise exactly what you are saying in myself and it is a great list from Fudge.
At the moment I feel at the end of my tether and in need of a holiday...but that's another story!
The things that help me are just having some peace and quiet with a cuppa / puzzle book/ reading book; watching a programme I enjoy ( absolutely not modern crime dramas or anything of similar vein). The biggest one for me is to do some sort of craft, my main one is embroidery and focus on making something nice. Also the podcasts I have discovered lately, amazingly I found Russell Brand talking about his recovery and how meditation helps him was relaxing. He normally sounds manic but discussing this he was surprisingly calming!
You certainly have a lot on your plate so I hope you find help here and elsewhere to look after yourself.🌻

Apologies, the list was from @goldfinchonthelawn .

Interesting question Fudge. I have talked to DH a bit about the poor sleep but I find it hard to talk to people irl about my mental health.

I think it must have been awful for DH when I was really bad, don't want him to even suspect things might go that way again (not that they would I dotthink, now I know the medication is effective if I need it)

And partly because I'm the "go to" in my wider family for other people's moans - I feel like im not supposed to have problems too! And they don't tend to listen anyway, somehow the topic comes right back to them before you know it...

But also - perhaps it is pride/vanity too. I like to see myself as "the strong one".

Youve given me something to think about!

Yes I know when I am slipping. All the tips here are spot on. I make contact with the friends who will make you feel
safe & steer clear of those who just seem to revel in your misery. Try to get some exercise & keep the alcohol to a minimum & make use of this forum & go back on medication if it helped in the past. I am back on Setraline & if it helps I am staying on it.

Hi everyone, thanks again for all the help. I am staying away from the news which definitely helps, I've heard its awful out there - but I'm not looking!

Also, starting to sort out what I was panicking about unecessarily, from what I could actually usefully address. And also chanelling a tip I saw on another thread, I have the chance to do something nice for some friends who have had a difficult time, arranged to take them out for a treat we will all enjoy.

And went for a beautiful short cycle ride in the woods before work today. Luckily I'm self employed so can do this when I need to. I will definitely go back for more SSRIs if I can't 'hold the line' though.

Glad to hear Stoney Shaw.xx

Try a magnesium tablet 1/2 an hour before bed.. I used them for leg cramps and found they send me off to sleep no bother.. no grogginess in the morning either.
Also a proper rigid bedtime routine.. teeth brushed. Loo. Face washed. Moisturiser. Handcream. Just to train your brain for shutdown!