Where can I go to get myself back? Long post sorry.

[ThankYouVeryMuchGerry]

I have physical and mental health issues and I have had just about as much as I can take.

Physically I am in constant pain and have to take 7 different painkillers x 3 per day plus Oramorph as needed (history of issues with pelvic area and bowel problems, including bowel cancer last year).

Mentally I'm on 8 different tablets per day for BPD, EID, chronic depression and anxiety, several nervous breakdowns and PTSD. I am lucky enough to have a psychiatrist and psychologist who I see regularly.

I also went through early menopause (38) for which I have been on HRT for the last few years.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am sick of seeing my partner and my family constantly frustrated by everything affecting me.

I feel better when I eat well and exercise, but am often not in a position to be able to exercise, either due to pain, due to being too mentally unwell or due to not sleeping properly (either not enough if pain, or too much if mentally unwell, or taking drugs to make me sleep).

Recent events in my life have brought up a whole host of new anxieties and the reoccurrence of childhood trauma that I thought I had dealt with but clearly haven't.

I just feel completely worn out by it all and I want it to stop. Please don't get me wrong, I self harm as a coping mechanism, but have no plans or desire to end my life.

I have decided to go away for a while as much for my family's sake as mine but I don't know what to do or where to go. I would ideally like to go on a health retreat but I don't know what sort or where. There is a meditation centre local to me who host week long retreats, but I can't get the hang of meditation so I'm not sure if thats a good idea.

I feel toxic from all the meds I'm taking so I could do a health clinic type place but again what sort and where.

I was also thinking a juicing retreat or a yoga retreat but I'm worried that everyone will be really skinny and healthy and able to do amazing yoga, whereas I am the opposite of skinny and healthy and am only just learning how to do yoga and am really not very good at it!

Or should I check into a rehab place (my psychiatrist can arrange this) for a heavy dose of therapy.

I know I am very lucky to be able to have the option of these things but I am stuck about what to do. Should I just stay at home and hope things get better?

Has anyone got any advice, either of places to go, or even if its just how to make myself feel better where I am? I just want to feel well again.

Sorry for such a long post and thank you for any advice.

I would say as long as its not an advanced yoga retreat there should be a range of different abilities there? I have been on a few and never felt judged at all. I don’t have any experience of health retreats, hopefully someone will be along with better info. If thats the ideal, could you start a post with the title “Health retreat recommendations”?
Best of luck. You’ve been through so much, you deserve a good break.

I actually mentioned this on anther thread today but I went on a great "boot camp" in Northumberland once when I was feeling down. They had a total "do what exercise you can" approach and were very good at tailoring activities to fit a range of different abilities from the superfit triathlete to the super unfit fatties like me and everyone in between. A lot of it was just being in beautiful surroundings and enjoying nature - so an afternoon might be some people sea swimming, some body boarding and others just walking in the shallows. The staff were really lovely and caring too and encouraged a great group dynamic. If you'd like details I can PM you.

I’ve been on a few yoga holidays, a lot of the other people on them hadn’t done much yoga, if any, and people were really really friendly, we ate together - lovely veggie meals prepared for us. Most people went to bed around 9. We had one meal out together in a restaurant.

londonmummy can you pm me the details of the boot camp too?

londonmummy id really like the details if you don't mind pm'ing me please. It sounds like something I could do (specially as it's not too hardcore!).

@londonmummy1966 could you share that place on here?

@OP if you want abroad we went to a health hotel in Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic. It's a spa town and this hotel has a whole range of health and well-being services. It's a very grand old hotel and the town is really pretty.

The Lightning Process ?

A break like this sounds a wonderful idea OP. After a really tough couple of years I’ve often thought of getting away by myself but am not into the whole meditation and mindfulness vibe.
Wild swimming, woodlands and hiking is more me. And eating!

Londonmummy your Northumberland retreat sounds good! I’d also love to know about it if you have time to PM me too!

Id also love to learn a new skill, or do cooking or art, but in lovely surroundings. You could look at those sorts of breaks too maybe.

I’d look into thalassotherapy places, I found it so soothing.

Just to say that I've PM'd those who asked with details about the Bootcamp.

Hi OP I'm reading c with interest. Just wanted to say that the meditation retreat is really not a good idea - lots of meditation means lots of time with your thoughts and if you're not a very experienced meditator, then that basically means potential lots of time with traumatic memories. Follow your gut there!

I'd say going to something that involves body and some socialising, rather than mind-focussed, sounds good. And if it's not helpful then you have the rehab place as a backup (when it can be organised).

It sounds like you really deserve a break though. I hope you find something you enjoy.