The last 3 years have been really difficult. I had breast cancer which was treated quickly and I recovered but the shock of it resulted in a breakdown. I didn’t realise it at the time but looking back I wonder how I got through it. Last year my DH was diagnosed with incurable cancer but is receiving treatment.
Just over a month ago my dad past away after a difficult few years of illness and refusing any outside help, so lots were left to me to deal with.
I have found it all really hard. I have very little family around and my daughter who still lives at home is struggling with everything but will only open up to me from time to time. Leading up to the funeral all I wanted was a break from so much worry, a few weeks just to deal with what had happened and try to recover. Unfortunately my DH has had to start new treatment, which so far hasn’t been too bad (very tired) but we have to be careful meeting up with people and going out.
This weekend has been very long and I’m struggling with a huge amount of emotion and anxiety I’m feeling. I’ve tried calling a couple of friends for a chat but they’ve been busy and others I know are spending time with family. It’s brought it home to me that at some point in the future I’m going to be on my own and I don’t know how I’ll cope. I’m just so exhausted with it all and the thought of trying to cook some dinner almost feels too much.