Menopause driving me crazy

[Runaround50]

Quite literally.
I am exhausted and fed up with trying to find a suitable Hrt regime.
It seems i can't live without oestrogen, else my body breaks down. But the oestrogen I do take, is never enough to alleviate basic symptoms.

How are earth do people manage this frankly shite time of life??

My brain is taking a battering, I have teen kids, partner, house, pets, work and this shit to deal with! 😥😥

Pea give the sertraline time to kick in if it's been helpful before it should do now.

I slept for about 40 mins last night
I have a bad stomach from anxiety
I'm paranoid, irritating, irritated
Honestly don't know how long this can continue

Feel completely awful today. Seeing CPN tomorrow & dreading it. I honestly am contemplating signing myself in somewhere! & I’m sitting in work because I don’t want to be alone at home. Just trying to get through the day x Love to you allx

@Peapod1969 I'm listening

I actually just said to my friend I'd rather be dead than feel like this!
I feel barely human today! It's as if I'm just existing does that make sense?

Tom are you on any AD for your low mood and anxiety?

200mg of sertraline, I've been on it for years for ptsd

Sorry you're having such a tough time. Can you go back to your Gp?

@Peapod1969 and @TomAllenWife sorry you are feeling rubbish.
If it's any consolation, so am I.
I had the Mirena fitted and I don't think it's agreeing with me at all 😢

Hi can I ask why your mirena isn't helping? I had one put in a year ago and had to be removed because of severe pain.

Sympathies for everyone struggling. I am too and finding it hard to even mentally articulate how I feel.

@SeaneenM999 no pain with the Mirena, but quite a lot of bloating, nausea. headaches etc. It could bug I guess, I really don't know as it's only been in a week.

Well the CPN has arranged for me to try beta blockers to try & break the cycle.

Beta blockers worked well for me. Give them a go.

Thanks cushion. I started them last night & haven’t noticed much difference. Does it take a bit of time to build up?

I know exactly how you feel. Hormones and I have never got on. I always had severe PMS and also PND after DD was born. I made a full recovery but 10 years later all my PND symptoms returned when I hit the peri menopause - but it was much worse this time.

HRT pulled me out of a very deep hole 6 years ago. Would still have fairly regular, quite nasty mood slumps though, but not nearly as severe. But 2 years ago I was diagnosed with early ER+ breast cancer so had to stop HRT immediately and started Tamoxifen. I was so worried I'd go back to that dark hole again, but I have actually been fine - only 3-4 mood slumps since Feb. 2020. But I'm enduring one at the moment, I think triggered by my period being nearly 3 weeks late.

It's really grim. Flat, grey mood. Zero motivation. Extremely sleepy. Sharp headaches. Very bloated. And worst of all, that awful, internal anxious agitation. Fucking, bloody, shitting hormones. I'm one week in and there's still another week of this Hell to go (it always lasts roughly 2 weeks).

I couldn't tolerate the Mirena either. I'm highly sensitive to progesterone (and I suspect you are too) so even the tiny amount in the Mirena had a very adverse effect on my mood - just had constant PMS for the 9 months I had it in. The GP told me that the Mirena's progesterone stayed only in the uterus. I did a lot of research and discovered this isn't true - a small amount circulates around your entire system, and that small amount is enough to trigger nasty side effects.

Hi. Just to make you aware that norethisterone is a strong, synthetic, old fashioned progesterone that is notorious for causing severe low mood & anxiety in women who are already progesterone intolerant.

Thank you @peaceanddove
I've managed to tailor it down to 2 a day rather than 3 and still not bleeding

My mood has improved dramatically since the weekend, I feel like a different person!!

In a normal world this would be fine but it's such an extreme change I can't quite get my head around it.
I'm smiley, kind, sleeping better, not jealous or paranoid, tolerant of everyone

Utterly bizarre

You're welcome and I'm so glad you're feeling better. No one understands, do they, unless they've experienced it themselves? My hormonal wretchedness suddenly lifted Tuesday bedtime, in only the time it took to make a cup of tea and carry it upstairs to bed. It always arrives and disappears really swiftly like this and is a classic symptom of hormonal fluctuations.

@peaceanddove I didn't know the hormone from the Mirena circulates into the body? I thought it just stayed in the uterus?

Honestly, I have no idea what to do then. It's been in nearly 3 weeks now. Some days have been fine and others, pretty grim, but that could be partly because I haven't got the Oestrogen right ( still).

It's all such a damm headache!

HRT doesn't seem to agree with me - persistent bleeding amongst other things.

Insomnia and irritability are amongst my worst symptoms currently.

I also feel on the verge of doing something irrational (like running away and hiding in a hut somewhere). I won't because I have young dc and really they are keeping me anchored but I feel unbalanced and lots of questions are coming up for me. It does feel like I'm on a path to a bit of self discovery but my life situation means I have an inability (currently) to make any drastic life changes.

I'm saving up some money to return to therapy. I know this is where I need to be as I have lots of thoughts I need to share in a confidential, non-judgemental and quiet space.

Hi Gingerandicetea, I relate completely to wanting to run away. I think it’s that we feel we are responsible for everyone’s happiness & when we slide then guilt is added to the mix. Yes and sometimes we do need space to discuss our thoughts with someone who will have no judgment.

@Gingerandicetea same for me with HRT, persistent bleeding
So now I'm on norethisterone permanently and that's shit too

Thanks for reassuring me that I am not alone in having these thoughts peapod

To a large degree, I am responsible for my dc's happiness - they are primary school age, it is tough trying to remain on even keel.

There's so much I want to tell a therapist, so much to talk about in a safe space. The last therapist I spoke to couldn't seem to relate and made some pretty rubbish suggestions (can't go into it here as it would probably be outing).

TomAllen Sorry to hear you are having problems with HRT too, it really does make life more difficult.