Malicious reports

[purpleme12]

Neighbours been harassing us for a long time. Lots of different things over a long period of time which they deny and of course I don't have the proof.
And now I have had the grand total of them ringing 999 on me 6 times to insinuate I'm doing something to my child when my child kicks off. The police have to answer the call as it's a 999 call.
This house doesn't feel like my own
It feels invaded
I have to open my house to them whenever they come and yes I'm not doing anything to my child so I do each time but it's distressing
Every time she kicks off we're thinking about the police.
Every time the phone makes a noise I think is it the police at the door.
They're using them against me

I don't know how long I can cope with this.

How old is your child and what do you mean by “kicks off”. Are you talking about a bit of crying and whinging or screaming, banging about and wailing?
Is it just the child making noise or are there adults shouting back at them? If it’s just a child crying a bit when they don’t get their way, could you move your child’s room away from the adjoining wall so that they don’t hear things as loudly.

If it’s full on screaming and wailing then can you look at ways to head off tantrums before they get going? Your neighbours may be awful, but I would also call the police if a child was wailing and screaming next door to me, especially if I could hear adults shouting too.

It is not often I raise my voice
Obviously sometimes like any parent.

If it was anyone else I could believe it was genuine intentions however it is them with all their history so it is not genuine believe you me. And the fact they're obviously keeping doing it.

I've already spoken to school about her behaviour and we are getting support put in place
But that wasn't really the point of my post
Like I say I know it's malicious
But police have to respond cos it's a 999 call.

I'm finding it hard to cope with what they're doing, not what my child is doing

I shouldn't have posted please forget it's obviously hard for people to understand if they don't know what they're like

I don't think anyone gets this

Like, I said, I’m not doubting that you neighbours are a nightmare. My point more that, given these aren’t totally random reports, and you know what is triggering the calls, is there anything that you can do to reduce the likelihood of triggering another call? It must stressful being on edge constantly. Ultimately though, you can’t control or change their behaviour, so I’d try to do everything I could to avoid giving them any excuse to call again.
if there’s never anything for police to be concerned about, could you ask them to speak to the neighbour about wasting police time or harassment?

It's hard to know what triggers every one however basically whenever I say something she doesn't like at the minute eg put a boundary in place
I can't give in to everything so she doesn't kick off
It's more complicated than that but school are supporting etc.

Yes I am on edge
I can also in her mind that she looks out the window or the door sometimes to check if any police are there
It's horrendous

When the police tried to talk to them last time (they said to report back to them that everyone was safe) they refused to speak to the police.
Because they are not reasonable people

Today they pretended they were a passerby (anonymous call stating they were a passerby)
I know it was them. This was presumably because they'd made so many calls so police might get the hang it's malicious and/or so they didn't get the police wanting to speak to them after

I would make a report of harassment to the police. They will be able to trace calls if they continue to call and lie about being a passerby.

Harassment has been reported almost a year ago and still open.
(But then they make a counter claim against you full of lies which apparently is a pattern with them I've learned from speaking to other people)
But I guess I'll speak to police again and hope to god there's some hope

You're probably feeling on edge and your child is picking up on it.

It's difficult as if I heard a child screaming or whatever I would be concerned.

Neither of mine have had especially bad tantrums. In the nicest possible way it sounds like you do need support. However I don't see that as schools job. They are with your child 9-3.30. Can you ask for more support from health visitor? Do you have family who can support?

It all sounds stressful - can you speak to neighbour? I'm guessing not.

No when you speak to them they come back at you with lies and film you (I've done nothing they can get me on so the filming can only be to harass us)

School do have access to other people to help children so yes school are helping us. It's not about us needing support I'm already getting that

Shouldn't have posted sorry

Don't apologise for posting, it's clearly really tough.

Keep reporting them for harassment, especially if they are filming you. The more police incident numbers you get the more chance you have of the police taking action (speaking from experience although completely different scenario).

Have the police explained to them that your child is prone to tantrums? Perhaps if the neighbours were made explicitly aware of this by the police, including that your child has behavioural issues, then the next time they report you the malicious intent would be really quite explicit.

I think you need then to report them for harassment.

You have acknowledged you need support & school are pointing you in the direction of those who can help you.

I think the stress of them reporting you is making you worry so you can't focus on sorting the tantrum out.

I also agree they shouldn't be filming you.

I am not sure if they've explained about her behaviour and that I'm trying to resolve that. I know they went once to tell them she's safe I am not sure how much they divulged. I guess I could ask about that

I hate them knowing anything about our life
I doubt it would stop them mind

Is it possible that they are genuinely concerned? I’ve seen other posters from you and you say your daughters behaviour is “not normal” that’s a direct quote not my words, and that she screams a lot and attacks you, maybe they are genuinely worried about the situation? You say she screams all the time and is aggressive so perhaps if your neighbours are hearing this they are concerned?

Like I say if it was another person who was nice and reasonable with none of their history I could accept they might have done it with genuine intentions. (Also what I told the police)
I also believe if it was someone else they would not have done it this many times.
Also if it was someone else I would be able to talk to them and they would most probably understand.
So yes I'm quite sure this is all malicious sadly

@purpleme12 I do think it's worth trying - if they could explain the problem is your child (sorry, realise that sounds bad) and not you so to speak, it gives them less of an excuse to report you for apparently doing something to your child. And if they genuinely are doing it out of concern for your child (which it doesn't really sound like from what you say) then that should alleviate their concerns too.

@AnElegantChaos I guess perhaps I should discuss it with the police tomorrow 😞

Good luck, it sounds a nightmare so I hope you mange to get some help with it.

@AnElegantChaos thank you it's so embarrassing having a blue light police van turn up today

It's all I can think about