I have a difficult relationship with my Mum. She has suffered long term mental health problems, bipolar and depression. I was removed from her aged 9. She is a lot different now 30 years later, but still angry and verbally aggressive.
On Mothers day she screamed at me as she was leaving the house 'I don't know what medication you're on but it needs changing'(I'm not on any medication). I have felt very uncomfortable around her since a year ago when she said she doesn't like me but she likes my brother. This came to a head the other day when she said I am 'off' with her. I explained calmly that it's because she said she doesn't like me and she called me mentak as an insult. I said that's a disgusting thing to say, especially to your own daughter.
She said 'well i don't like you and you are mental'. She gets so angry because she is always shouting and arguing and I won't shout back.
Early last year I was diagnosed with anxiety and harm OCD with scary thoughts (post natal). I haven't told her any of this.
But there's something about this 'mental ' as an insult that has really affected me. I have been crying constantly for weeks (in private). And having self harm thoughts that I haven't done since I was a teenager.
Sorry for the long post, can anyone offer any insights on why this insult hurts so much?