Hi, I am posting as I recently had a manic episode (first in my life) and have gradually been suffering with bad depression since recovering from the mania. I’ve been told this is quite common- coming down from the high to being low.
Anyway, I have increasingly been feeling very different to how I have felt in the past with depression- like I’m a different person (not in a good way). I feel like a random person (not me) has been dropped into my life and nothing makes sense anymore. It’s very frightening. I hate my job (which I previously enjoyed), I don’t identify with my faith or my community, I don’t want to be around my husband or even my son sometimes. I feel trapped in my own home. I don’t want to meet up with friends as I feel like a fraud, like I’m pretending to be something I’m not. It is really getting me down and sometimes I just want to run away.
To make matters worse, I’m 32 weeks pregnant (I got pregnant before I became ill). The thought of feeling like this and looking after a new baby is filling me with fear.
I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this- it’s like a personality change or brain trauma or something, feeling like a completely different person where my life and identity don’t make sense and I don’t want it anymore. Sorry for the long post and I hope it makes some sense.