Late diagnosis of ADD/ADHD. Did it change things/help?

[Newdawnfreedom]

Hi all,

Name changed to post this.

I'm looking for perspectives from people who had a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD in middle age.
I have done an online test which suggests a strong indication.

I was always classed as a 'daydreamer' as a kid
Scatty and struggle with organisation but work very hard at it
Find it difficult to stay focused at work, easily overwhelmed
Dyspraxic and took years for me to learn to drive
Socially awkward especially in large groups or formal situations
Experience extreme highs and lows
Life feels chaotic no matter how many coping skills I use (meditation, yoga etc)

I've been through a difficult period with losing a parent and relationship breakdown in last year. I'm working really hard to navigate in a positive way but struggling with anxiety, depression, feeling of chaos.

Wondering if there are similar experiences and if a diagnosis helped? If so in what way and what are the best options to deal with it.

Thanks 😊

Nothing here to answer your question or help at all, just some solidarity.
I'm early 40's and have realised I am ADHD. I've just spoken with my Dr to get the ball rolling.

My dr asked me if it was worth "wasting" nhs resources on 😔. Nhs isnt just fir self-knowledge....

Im sure im asd/adhd and it explains my lack of functioning. I think knowing would make a huge difference.

Following as also in the same boat. Struggling for years and menopause is pushing me over the edge. I'm pretty sure my dad and son are the same.

Wow! Why does the NHS even employ ADHD specialists if seeking a diagnosis is a waste of resources? What did you say?

Yes, best thing ever. I am 33 and diagnosed 2 years ago. The difference taking meds has had on my life has been amazing- can focus more on work, less short with the kids as havnt used all my energy doing everything else. So glad I got the diagnosis

Thanks for the replies and solidarity. Hope you're all doing OK 🥰

Well nice to know it's not just me but sounds like it's difficult to get a diagnosis and treatment. I'm also worried about the menopause landing in on top of it all.

I think my GP will just laugh at me....

This is great to hear and so glad you're doing well. How did you get diagnosed if you don't mind my asking?

Diagnosed last year at 44, medication has helped enormously (although unfortunately less effective now than when I first started taking it), getting a diagnosis has been really helpful for me

Sorry meant to quote whinetime89 in that last post!

I'm thinking of just going for private assessment as I really don't think the GP will hold any truck with it at all.

Started seeing it and ND mentioned on MN, then when I asked 2 friends about it they confirmed their diagnoses and pretty much said they always reckoned I had it too...

Started listening to podcasts now and it's like they are speaking into my soul.
How did I not know about this before??? I'm 45 for goddsake!

For those with a diagnosis, did you have to go to a specialist and how long did it take roughly? I'm in Ireland so suspect it could be near on impossible.

That's awful @LifeInsideMyhead. I'd get a second opinion.

Would love to know what online test you took? What podcasts or other information you access? And anyone on medicine - can you please tell me the name and dose.

Thanks

I got a late diagnosis, at age 43, I'm delighted to know and the drugs are good and help me to do the stuff I'm rubbish at. I also understand myself a lot more and can find my own tribe. Other adhders make the best friends x

Hi OP. I'm 42 and awaiting a diagnosis. I have struggled my whole life. Always told I was very clever but I just needed to try harder. Haven't achieved anything really in my life. Lots of goals, but I just forget about them. Since realising ADHD was my issue my whole life I've been incredibly angry that it wasn't picked up in school or by my parents (one who is a teacher!). I feel I have wasted my whole life away. So much potential just thrown away. It makes me so sad. M

I realised I had it 2 years ago and went to see my GP. I went with a list of symptoms (written down because otherwise I'd forget). She was very dismissive and told me she didn't think I had adhd but would refer me if that's what I wanted. I felt so stupid after.

I have been really really struggling the past year and followed up on my waitlist position a few weeks ago. I have been on the NHS waitlist for TWO YEARS!!! And they are only now just starting to see people from October 2018!!! There is no point being referred in the NHS anymore. If you reply in that you will likely be waiting 5+ years!

I couldn't take it anymore, so I have booked myself a private diagnosis. The wait is 3 months at the moment and it's costing me £750, plus any medication fees. Plus several fees that will allow me to be transferred back over to the NHS on a shared care plan once my medication is stable.

Someone asked about podcasts. These ones are great!

Also check out these Instagram accounts for some super insightful info. I promise you'll never feel so 'heard'!

https://instagram.com/adhd_couple

💡

https://instagram.com/humanity_hive

💡

instagram.com/adhdoers

💡

https://instagram.com/theminiiadhdcoach

For me, it was seeing this test linked here on Mumsnet a couple of years ago that got the penny dropping and the ball rolling:

www.additudemag.com/self-test-adhd-symptoms-women-girls/

I was diagnosed about 18 months (via NHS) ago at age 53. It was revelatory.

The diagnoses has helped open certain doors for me such as reasonable adjustments, ADHD work coach sessions via Access to work which were amazing.

Menopause is what really brought my symptoms to the surface as all the masking and coping mechanisms started to fall apart and I didn't know what was going on.

There has been some sadness, some what ifs, wishing I could tell my mum about it so she'd know it wasn't just me being lazy, etc

But mainly it has been educational, mind broadening, and as I said, revelatory.

Btw diagnosis and wait times can really depend on where you live. We have an ASD/ADHD service very close by. The process was slowed down by COVID but GP visit to actual diagnosis was about 8 months.

Can you tell me more about the adhd coaching and access to work? I don't know anything about these, but have heard an adhd coach is great - although I struggle to understand what they do and how they can help. But I want one eventually!

You got very lucky with your wait time btw! I was told 18m as well. But after being told by the people that they were only seeing people from 2018 I just gave up and made my own appointment. The pressures of my work and moody husband who doesn't believe adhd is a thing, and my son who is almost certainly adhd / asd as well have tipped me right over the edge. I can't cope anymore

Please don’t assume the NHS is a lost cause. I was referred, given an appointment and diagnoses within the space of around 3.5 months last year.

I’m now medicated (Elvanse) and it definitely helps me through the day

Have a look at this for more info about Access to Work:

www.gov.uk/access-to-work

I had to have a workplace health assessment, then an assessment with someone very nice from AtW after which a report giving her recommendations and allocating funds. She allocated a certain number of hours with an ADHD coach. She gave 3 recommendations but you don't have to stick to those, however I did use someone on her list who turned out to be just perfect for me.
They can allocate funds for other things too, like noise blocking headphones, training for your workplace, specialist software etc.
Your workplace has to pay a small amount towards it .

My work coach helped me work out lots of strategies to be organised, help myself plan and remember things, how to cope on a bad day, nicknamed DefCon 3, how to ask for what I need, work out how I work best (short deadlines with a bit of urgency).
She always started with how I was feeling that day, what particular issues were going on and then moved on to planned topics like communication etc.
It was so good, I would love to have her as my life coach and speak to her every 2 weeks or so. But privately it's way too expensive so I'm just grateful that I had what I did.

Dh was diagnosed recently, he's now on medication and it has changed his life beyond recognition.
It has also made a difference to us as a family.
Knowing that he's late/disorganised etc for a reason makes me much better placed to support him!

Oh my goodness - I got 66/72 - replied v often to nearly every situation.

It’s getting worse and worse post menopause - some days I feel like I have early onset dementia. The Q asking if you feel that you live at either end of the spectrum either a tornado or a couch potato is so true - and when I was younger it was mostly a tornado - now I am physically older it’s mostly a couch potato. I can never find balance.

Got diagnosed July 2021 after approaching GP in April 2021. Started meds in December 2021.

Titration was a bit of a process for me, originally I only took the meds on the days I was at work (3 days a week). Realised recently that I don't notice when I'm on the meds but have really shit days when I'm off them.

Started taking them daily and they've really made a difference. I have suffered with bad mood swings in the past with very low days. Was constantly seeking dopamine usually in the form of carbs or bad relationships that gave me highs and lows.

I don't get any of that on the meds. I feel happy and even and I don't eat crap all day. This surprised me as I was mainly taking them for focus and attention and only realised after a while of taking them on alternate days that my mood often plummeted when I wasn't on them and I did stupid things.

I'm 43 btw.

I am definitely less impulsive and more self aware, too.

I am terrible at practical things that involve paying attention or measuring or reading instructions.

DD wants custom converse for her birthday and I needed to measure her feet for them. I measured them yesterday and couldn't work out where I was going wrong as the size was coming out way bigger than her feet. A year ago I'd have got annoyed and just guessed and hoped for the best, probably getting it wrong and they can't be returned as they are custom.

Yesterday I noticed how frustrated I was, took a deep breath and asked DH to do it. Ordered the correct size this morning.

That’s amazing - what meds are they and what is the dose?

Do you also do lots of lifestyle adaptations or did you find that these were needed less once medicated?

Because in typical ADHD style I am about the plummet down a research rabbit hole, make loads of lists, unachievable / unsustainable plans and schedules which will have be worn out before even one step is implemented.