Just a vent post really. I've spent the day just sitting staring into space and doing the bare minimum. I don't know what's up with me. I keep having days where I feel so happy and love my family and house and feel so lucky and then it just comes down with a crash and I have these down days. I'm awaiting an appointment with consultant for endometriosis and have just presumed these ups and downs are just hormonal but they just feel like they are getting more pronounced nowadays. Recently started a job and took a pay cut to try and put happiness first but the reality of the job isn't perfect and now I'm questioning why I've taken a job with no future and less money and I'm fed up if always just getting by with no money rather than being able to do new things or go new places. I've lost my mojo to play with the kids and just can't be bothered and then get the mum guilt. Today has been such a sunny day but I couldn't make up my mind whether it was safe to take them to play with someone who had just had chicken pox and then because we have stayed in I've just got myself lower and lower. My eating is out of control and I'm eating biscuits by the dozen or making chocolate things that I'm hiding away to just stuff to make myself feel better. Nothing has happened to make me feel down, there's no triggers or background story. I just feel like the spark has gone. Maybe tomorrow the spark will be back and il wake up fine? Until next time. I don't know how to snap myself out of it.