I think my DH is depressed. I'm not sure how to approach the situation but I feel it's important to explain what's been going on as it's A LOT.
Had our first baby March 2021. By the time DS was about 8 weeks old I was rapidly deteriorating and developed PND and anxiety and severe insomnia. DH was very supportive and even found me a private counsellor who I still see regularly now (has worked wonders for me). I take 15mg mirtazapine. Long road to recovery but I'm pretty much there now except that I now lead a very quiet life which is all I'm comfortable with at the moment (I'm gradually incorporating more and more into my life). I've been back at work for 3 months and feel happy.
DH has recently started having occasional emotional outbursts (crying). He can seem very down and tired sometimes. This is very unlike him except for the very normal down day that we all have here and there. Im really worried about him and he has opened up a little. Said he saw some awful images on the internet when the war in Ukraine started. I don't know what he saw but it must have really affected him. He has a relatively full social life and we do things together as a family at the weekend. We have a holiday booked in September that we're both looking forward to.
On Saturday he went out with friends (this was planned) and got very drunk. Terrible hangover on Sunday and a lot of anxiety and remorse (he fell over and has a few cuts and scrapes) and he also has a cracked rib from playing football last week. He's been down all week and won't talk to me about what's going on. Keeps saying he's fine. I've been with him for 17 years and I can tell when something is up. I 100% know he wouldn't cheat on me so I'm not concerned about that, but it's like he's depressed now.
How can I encourage him to be open with me without irritating him?
We haven't slept together in about a year so I worry that this has had a massive effect on him. It's all me really - being pregnant and giving birth in a pandemic (was induced alone and he couldn't join me until I was in active labour), then terrible breastfeeding pain, then PND, then recovery - I have felt very protective of my own body and what it's been through. I had a bit of a prolapse too so have just felt like I didn't want to share my body. I'm worried he thinks I've rejected him but I've tried to explain all of this many times. I love him very deeply and want nothing more than to have lots of adventures as a family now that I'm no longer depressed myself.
Any advice or thoughts on how to approach his mental health with him would be much appreciated.