Please help me calm down

[Shakeitshakeitbaby]

I'm having a horrific time with anxiety at the moment, really struggling. Hoe the hell do I pull myself out of this rut? I can't be like this. My son is autistic and having a horrendous time with his anxiety too. Neither of us are getting proper sleep and I need to be on it to advocate for him and help him. My partner doesn't understand anxiety and just tells me to stop worrying. There is so much going on and I just can't cope. Am having suicidal thoughts and almost had a panic attack today over something ridiculous. I have struggled with anxiety for years but this is way worse than anything I've experienced before.

You need to speak to your doctor as soon as you can. If you are having suicidal thoughts, I was told to go to a&e for emergency help.

I agree. You definitely need to speak to your doctor. Are you safe tonight?

I can empathise OP and know how these awful periods can feel. If you’re feeling at risk ring 111 and speak to the mental health teams. You probably already are - but also see a sympathetic GP and discuss medication and therapy options. I find these acute periods ebb and flow and I try and hold onto the fact that the intensity does pass. Do you find anything helps during these times?

I am safe. I would never leave my son, I love him with all my heart. I am just broken at the moment. The thoughts are there but it's more thinking about a way out than actually going to kill myself, if that makes sense? I had therapy last year and that helped but this time is 1000x worse. My thoughts are out of control and I can't stop worrying. I'm making stupid decisions and I hate myself for it.

I just need to get a hold of myself but I can't seem to manage

It’s not that you need to ‘get a hold of yourself’ at all- it sounds like you’re going through challenging times and need support to get through it. Things sounds overwhelming at the moment. Things that help me (but may not help you!)

1. remembering the intensity passes


2. going outside


3. trying to remember that my life is challenging and so inevitably it can feel overwhelming


4. when it’s very bad I need diazepam and sleeping tablets to get me though bad periods. My GP is v supportive


5. When I have felt v bad I’ve called 111 who have calmed me down

You shouldn’t hate yourself. And you don’t need to get a hold of yourself. You’re not well. Please speak to your GP. I’ve taken meds and had CBT. It’s turned things around.

I'm going to try and get some sleep. Hopefully that will help. I think I'm coming down with something too which might be making it worse.

Please do contact your GP. There are lots of things that can help. If you’re having those thoughts it isn’t just get a decent night of sleep and be fine.

I forgot to add in my op (sorry for the drip feed) that sleep is a huge issue in this house. Ds wakes at 3.00am every day. I don't think that is helping my anxiety at all.

I will call my gp though.

Lack of sleep is awful. It magnifies everything. But you can get help with this OP. Can partner and you take turns with the waking?

I’m sure it’s not. Sleep has such an impact on wellbeing. Do you get any support for your son’s autism and the anxiety he is also experiencing?

I'm still feeling awful this morning. I've come down with some kind of bug aswell. Spent half the night either freezing or sweating and coughing (not covid). I have loads to do today but the thought is overwhelming.

Phoned doc this morning and they have sent a prescription for sertraline to my local chemist for me to collect later. Hopefully this will help take the edge off in a couple of weeks.

We do get some respite but nothing overnight. They won't medicate him for anxiety as they say he doesn't mert the threshold for an anxiety diagnosis.

Op

I suffer as well and lack of sleep magnifies a hundred fold, I really feel for you.

Definitely talk to your gp. Can you self refer also to your local IAPT service? Mine had a bit of a waiting list but they're being really helpful now.

I practice a lot of self care / self soothing when my anxiety is high. Eating regularly, proper food not rubbish. Avoiding alcohol, getting outside in the fresh air daily, even if just for 10 minutes. A walk often helps to burn off some anxiety for me.

I listen to podcasts and audio books a lot, I find books can take too much concentration and tv is rubbish these days. Listening to something instead gives my mind something to focus on without being overwhelming and i often find the voices of those speaking quite calming, as if i have non obtrusive company.

Headspace works for a lot of people, there are also guided meditations on YouTube. Ones that involve gentle chanting are really useful if you struggle to clear your mind (see kirtan meditation).

I prefer nature sounds myself, like birdsong.

I found this article useful the other day www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/may/21/what-i-wish-id-known-about-living-with-an-anxiety-disorder

You'll get through this, op.

I'm on day 2 of my meds now. I feel a little calmer, possibly because I got a little more sleep than usual last night. I am still having flashes of panic but it isn't as consuming as it was.