DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

[babycarrier]

NOT SURE IF THIS IS RIGHT BOARD TO DO THIS BUT BEFORE I WENT FOR MY 20WK SCAN MY PARTNER SAID HE DIDNT WANT A BOY AS WE ALREADY HAVE 3 GIRLS THAT HE WAS USED TO HAVING GIRLS SO DONT WANT A BOY ,WELL AT MY SCAN I FOUND OUT THAT WE ARE HAVING A BOY AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO .I TRIED LEAVING HIM IN AUGUST BUT COUNCIL WOULDNT PUT ME AND 5 KIDS ANYWHERE AND SAID WE HAD STAY LIVING AT HOME WITH HIM FOR 28 DAYS HE THEN GOT A LETTER SAYING THEY ADDED 2WKS ON IT AND HE HAD TO SIGN AND AGREE WHICH HE DIDNT BOTHER NOW IM 5MTHS PREGNANT AND GLAD AND HAPPY ITS A BOY BUT HE ISNT WHAT CAN I DO. DO I LEAVE HIM GO COUNCIL SAY HE DONT WANT HIS CHILD COS ITS A BOY LET THEM HAVE A LAUGH OR JUST DO A RUNNER WITH KIDS WITH NOWHERE TO GO.

awwwww im so sorry babycarrier. your dp sounds like a right dickhead for saying that! a baby is a baby, doesnt matter what sex. can you not get back on to the council on monday and say that you HAVE to leave for the sake of your children. the cannot just say no to you esp if you have nowhere to go.

are you having any other problems or is this the only reason why you would be leaving>

is there no way that you could both talk through it at all?

OK lets see if i can explain better im preg with my 6th child i have 2 from a previous relationship and now have 3 girls with my current partner yes.

i went to council and they said we had to stay there as the house is in his ex partners name (another long story) so they couldnt kick him out .
they said we had to stay for 28 days till t hey found us somewhere but int he meantime wrote for him to sign a letter in agreement that we would stay there but we decided to try and give it ago.

now im pregnant again and he dont want a boy as hes used to having girls from birth and said if its a boy he will put it up for adoption (we not married).
did that make any sense lol

he isnt happy becos i go to a mother and toddler group for 2hrs every day and dont do enough housework i think im just a housemaid not a mother to his kids.
he is controlling

omg he CANNOT put your baby up for adoption. wether you are married or not. tell him to wind his neck and just be happy. where abouts are you babycarrier

He is a selfish twat, if he did not want a boy then he should not be having any more children because there is a 50/50 chance it would be a boy!

I would go back to the council again, say things are not working we tried to giveit another try but it has ended.

Is the house in your now partners name?

Do you want to leave him?

FAO WILDCATS
i did tell him not to be silly its a baby and its ours to keep im in norfolk

FAO scoobydoo
the house is in his ex partners name he was controlling over her as well when her relative was ill in hospital she spent most of her time round there house so he told her to pack and leave which she did. so he have lived there since .
so council cant throw him out and let us have house he will kick up a stink.

Well as the house is not in your name then you can go to the council, if i was you & if you do want to leave then go to the council on monday, explain the situation you are in, don't bother telling them all about the he does not want a boy, just say your relationship has come to end your splitting up & you have no where to live.

is it a privately rented house then? by law he isnt allowed to live there unless the person whos name is on gthe rent book also lives there. i think anyway

it was bought outright so she owns it but i have spoke to her as we get on fine and she has said she will help any way she can.
i dont love him i think im just there cos of the kids which i said i would never do stay just cos i got kids

why doesnt his ex kick HIM out then. or does she get on better with him than with you

why are you and dp and your kids staying in his ex partners house? why doesnt she live there if its bought outright?

its a long story he threw her out when she decided to go to her dying relative every day and wasnt there in house for him so he threw her out and her head was all over the place she av now remarried and got a place with her new fellla. she thinks hes an arsehole too

my sistr has said i can goto hers but she av 1 child in a little place and then ther will be me and 5 kids at hers a bit squashed

go back to the council, you are in a hellof a situation here (and so are the kids), tell them the whole story, when you say controlling, has there been violence in the relationship. If council can't help, go to CAB, I work with them, they are fab, go on Monday, they are busy this time of year, but please give it a go. Please let us know how you get on? Take care

hi mumof2fabkids yes i will give it a go thanks will keep you updated thanks 4 everyones advice

He has NO right to be there either if its not his house and he has no tennacy agreement???? Can the ex draw up a tennancy agreement for you and then you can have him removed as he will be trespassing? This way you will get help paying the rent and bills too as you will be legally livign there. Kick his arse out and move on, he sounds like a wanker and youll be better off without him. Adoption? PAH what right has he got to put YOUR child up for adoption, tell him to grow up and F* off!!! PRICK!!!

yes thanks i have asked her to help and she is goin to help any way she can

Because of your situation with so many children, if you leave him and go to a friends or relatives without enough room, then get them to write to the council saying you will be evicted on a certain date, you will be rehoused by the council. I know someone who did this and was rehoused by them straight away. (I also tried it but because I was a single lass it didn't work when my marriage ended.)