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Mental health

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To talk about my childhood

2 replies

Tiredndconfused · 23/05/2022 16:15

Evening ladies
Long time lurker first time poster here, also apologies for the dreadful grammar. My father has had a recent heart transplant which resulted in a stroke which in turn has left him abusive towards myself, he's currently in hospital. Dealing with his constant barrage of abuse has been triggering for me as its exactly the way he spoke to me and my mum ( who has passed sometime ago) as a child and growing up. It's caused me to reflect on my childhood, growing up all I seem to remeber is being spoken down to, humiliated and being the butt of jokes in front of people from him. He would barge into my room take my things to give to his friends at the pub and drink heavily. My mom was treated the same way and we both walked on eggshells from his moods this resulted in my mom having me help with finances and be the one to be left on my own with no food to tell my dad we were skint. They would regularly lay on the sofa and have a blanket over them and it was obvious to me as a child and ypung teen what they were doing as I was sat opposite them. They would lock themselves in the bathroom and engage in sexual activity and do the same in their room I could hear it all and it gave me crippling anxiety. They would stand in full view of me and he would have his hands up her top and even when I said what are you doing it was brushed off as normal. What I'm getting at is this wasn't normal was it? I'm struggling with these emotions with everyone flocking round my dad how much of a great man he was how the abuse he is giving people isn't him

Thank you so much for listening

OP posts:
coffeeisthebest · 23/05/2022 18:01

It wasn't normal, no. They failed you massively and your feelings now towards him are completely understandable. I'm not surprised you are struggling with hearing that his behaviour is so unlike him when you remember it well from childhood. Have you ever had any therapy? If not please access some. Exposing a child to sexual activity is sexual abuse. I am so sorry for what they did to you. I hope you can heal.

Tiredndconfused · 23/05/2022 18:11

thank you for your response. I think the sexual stuff coupled with the emotional is something I've never come to terms with but I am hoping now I am being more open I can seek therapy and gain others perspectives talking to my father social worker helped although I never mentioned the sexual stuff.

OP posts:
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