How to get my GP to understand when I don’t quite know how to explain myself?

[RedorangeyellowBLACK]

I am 49 and have had mental health issues from around the age of 6.
I had LOTS of OCD’s, anxieties and strange behaviours/thought patterns as a child. These were not addressed when I was young and I think that I just learnt to mask and carry on as best I could regardless of my inner turmoil (which has never left me).
I have had many ups and downs over the years and have tried many things to help with my difficulties (CBT many, many times, counselling, medication, alternative therapies) p. I have spent a small fortune and invested time and effort yet nothing has really helped to ease how I feel and think.
Everything has become so much worse the last few years and I am now at a point in my life where I have this huge mental (and physical) tangle of issues which I can’t break away from, or untangle to make sense of.
But I just don’t know how to assert myself enough to get through to my GP to explain that I really need some kind of help. Everything has become so much that I am struggling to function every day, my thought processes and the way I communicate with people is mushed!
I have recently came across inattentive adhd and have done several online check lists and seem to score very highly (maybe with some asd traits too?) and tbh this is literally the only thing which makes sense to me, more so than any diagnosis of anxiety or depression.
But the GP’s over the years haven’t been too helpful. My last surgery still won’t see anyone face to face and trying to get your point across during a hurried 5 minute telephone call is bloody hard. I have just changed surgeries but am scared to bring all of this up as I really don’t know where to start and have kind of masked my issues for so, so long that I feel people just won’t take me seriously (I am like the Mona Lisa on the outside yet feel like Munch’s Scream on the inside!).
I want to ask the new surgery if I can book a double appointment to explain everything but the receptionist are hardcore and I have so gone into myself that I find it hard to communicate these days.
Has anyone felt this way and really struggled to get your point across to health professionals?

Yet you articulate yourself so well through writing..I get you totally op and this is a trait of neurodiversity, the frustration of then struggling to verbally get across what you mean, especially when under pressure/on the spot. Sounding as though you aren't really sure what you're talking about even though you've researched this inside out. Get an appointment, make detailed notes or read your post to the gp and stress that you believe you need an assessment for the above reasons, can they refer you as you fit the profile for neurodiversity and you really need support with that. You should get referred. It may take a while to be seen but the important part is to get them to refer you, which you can do, you explained it really well above. Good luck!

Thank you Fizzyfish that’s my problem. As soon as I get into a one to one situation when I have the opportunity to explain my issues fully, I will either babble on explaining far too much or go the other end of the scale and clam up and my brain will literally go dead, either way I will walk out beating myself up for not explaining myself fully!
Hopefully I can write it all down and get my point across.

Write it down and give the gp the letter to read either in person or by email.

This also makes it harder to brush off because it firms part of your medical records whereas words disappear.

Masking is a MASSIVE issue because it can kick in when speaking to a doctor - I used to despair at my people pleasing which was so bad that I’d end up agreeing with the gp that I was really fine, not mentioning things I’d come to say. But now I can see that it’s an aspect of masking that is so instinctive I can’t over ride it in situations of social stress.