Please help so sleep deprived

[Pliosawus]

I cannot sleep. I'm chronically sleep deprived. At best I get maybe 3 hours a night. I will feel knackered all day and one of two things will happen - either I start to drift off and then get horrible intrusive thoughts (usually about death or other distressing scenarios) which jerk me awake, or I get into bed and am just wide awake for hours and hours. I feel like I've tried everything. It's getting to the point that I honestly can't function. I've tried medication of all descriptions, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, exercise, sleep stories, no screens before bed, no caffeine, reading, writing before bed, music/podcasts to drift off to, sleeping in a separate room to my husband, warm baths/showers before bed. I feel I am honestly on the edge of a breakdown due to this and all my GP says is that it is stress related.

how about medicinal cannabis? Can you get it where you are? My DH hasn't slept well for 20 years and now sleeps every night without waking.

I was in a similar positions and what worked was sleep restriction. I followed the guidance on the Sleepio App - it really saved me - it was a big commitment and a struggle but worth it. I would really recommend getting the App -it is broken down into weekly sessions - it took me 4 or 5 weeks to get into a reasonable grip back on a sense of normality but worth the effort.

I tried hypnotherapy.

A large part of it is putting yourself in a hyper relaxed state.

My therapist sent me links to him talking me through it (though I should practice on my own....) but if I just want to get to sleep I put it on and listen to him talking me through it. I never get to the end of it.

Overall my sleep has massively improved since starting hypnotherapy. I really hope it works for you. I was the same. About four or five hours a night every night. I know how shattering it can be

What medications have you tried??

This sounds awful, I'm so sorry for you :(

This sounds terrible, poor you. Have you thought about a sleep consultant?

There's a documentary about sleep on iPlayer at the moment (presented by Dr Michael Moseley). One of the case studies sounded similar to you - and it got sorted by the sleep consultant.

Have you tried Mirtazapine? I was in exactly the same position as you a few years ago. Mirtazapine is a sedating antidepressant, and from the first night I took it I slept a full 8 hours - it was a miracle! No other medication had touched it (and I’d tried everything - I was really getting desperate). It took away all my anxiety around sleep too. May be worth trying if you haven’t already?

@Killerpinkflamingo same experience here. Life-changing. I had a sleep disorder since age 17. One thing I will say... Weight gain. Oh well. Fat and happy or thin and so tired and anxious I couldn't think at all and could barely get through the day. I'll take fat and happy. And well rested.

Hi OP
I totally understand your pain. I had insomnia for decades before getting to the point you are at now. I second the suggestion to do sleep restriction. Stay up late, set alarm, get up early. I found it brutal but it did work. I watched podcasts and followed a guy online called Martin Reed, insomnia coach.
The awful anxiety you are having is partly about not being able to sleep, this is what the podcasts and other information from Martin Reed helped with.
The NHS have a sleep programme called sleepio but Martin Reed worked much better for me.
I had to start to trust my body and sort of override my very anxious and wired brain.
The problem is for people like us, we can physically do without sleep for long periods, we have to relax and trust that sleep is natural and will happen on its own.
Hope you can find your way through this.

@Goawayangryman I hear you! The weight gain was brutal in the first 6 months. But I have found that it wore off eventually (been taking it for 5 years). But like you, it changed my life, so I feel that the weight gain side effect was worth it!