At what point in your sh*tty life did you realise how alone you actually were?

[TylerMonday]

I’m so sick of feeling like this. I hate my job, want to leave and am actively looking for a new position.

Family life is well, crap to say the least. We’ve one daughter ASD rarely comes out of the house, let alone her bedroom. I feel so alone with it all. Husband takes things in his stride but I want to feel like I’m actually living a life.

I’ve never discussed with work colleagues or friends how low I actually feel most of the time, how sad I am inside and how lost I feel in life.

I often think ‘Is this it’…is this what my life will always be…
I only wanted a nice family and friends and my family is disjointed and I’ve got few friends.

Struggling so much…

I’m so sorry to read this.,
I’ve joined Mumsnet today seeking help for my mental health and I could have wrote you post. I too feel so alone. My partner just doesn’t get it at all. Two of my children have mental health challenges at the moment and I feel I’m carrying everything. I started on medication this week to see if that will help with my low mood. I don’t discuss things with friends either. It’s so tough.

I know how you feel @TylerMonday . I have no words of wisdom but wanted to show solidarity.

I hate my job, my marriage is over and all I’ve worked for is out the window.

The sadness, the loneliness is exhausting. Waking up every day knowing it will be a struggle and not seeing how things can get better. I don’t know what you can try to help you through. Do you think any of your friends would be be supportive?

Keep looking for another position...i reckon it will get better from then on. Is there any way you could work for yourself.
Im in a similar position. Whilst i like my career, this workplace is very tough. It's hellish.

When DH was really ill and spent weeks in ITU and not one person ever suggested DC could go home for tea with their DC so I didn’t have to race back down the motorway for school pickup.

I asked one friend once if she could have DC for just an hour as the Drs wanted to discuss next steps. She responded ‘as long as it’s just an hour, I have things to do’. Thankfully he recovered but my MH never has.

I had always done play dates, pick ups, offered help, lifts etc. I’ve pretty much felt alone ever since because I know no one really wants to put themselves out for me. in work I’m the one who listens to the dramas while people rant on about their ex, their kids, their ill parents etc but as soon as I ever try to say that I’m having a hard time they just don’t want to know. I miss my old uni days when I had friends, fun, a life. Funnily enough DC has ASD, I do think that may have been the reason people didn’t want to offer help, maybe they thought they would be difficult or something, who knows?

good luck with the job hunt. I hope something turns up for you soon

Thank you for the solidarity, I’m just sorry you can relate.

I’ve actually found myself withdrawing a bit with friends and work colleagues, not wanting to share much about my personal life and my feelings. When I did share I received ‘advice’ that I knew wouldn’t work for me. Also they kept asking me ‘how are things now’? Which became a bit much for me.

I’ve applied for a few jobs, so that’s a start. It is tough I agree.

From the outside my life looks ideal. Long marriage, lovely children, home, job etc. It's not. I am so lonely I could cry. I have no one, and I mean literally no one,.to talk to about anything other than mundane weather style conversation. I find myself wondering what happy would be like and why there is no happy in my life.
It's hard but I get through by telling myself it's ok and I'm fine lonely.
I'm sorry you feel this way. It is hard. 💐

I'm so sorry that everyone feels like this. You have my sincere sympathy. Same here, I've just withdrawn now really. Feel like I'm giving up but desperately trying not to. Worst thing is, nobody notices. If they do, they don't say anything. I feel selfish even writing this.

Sorry everyone is feeling this way.

I can totally relate.

my life looks great from the outside looking in. But I am so bored and lonely I could just stand and scream with the frustration of it all. I mean what is the point? I have no friends, well one but we are rarely in touch. My soul purpose in life is to clean up after everyone, plan meals for everyone, doing everyone’s laundry, all care of kids and dog, all life admin, sort any diy, all shopping.

for my trouble I get to go to work, well wfh so don’t ever see anyone to pay for the above.

weekend is mostly more cleaning (it’s constant), laundry and entertaining the kids.

a good day for me is if it’s sunny and I can hang the washing out.

is this it? Forever to be lonely?

My mum isn’t well at the moment (not Covid) sounds more like food poisoning if I’m honest. She’s in her 80s and I’m whittling about her as she’s career for my dad.

I’m sat with the dog feeling rather sorry for myself. I’m off this week although goodness knows why I bothered. DD young adult has decided she’s not bothered about going into town to buy new clothes, husband working, friends (could count on one hand…not including thumb and still have two fingers free)..are working. Not as close as I was to them anyway, their lives have changed I guess.

I have however applied for 3 jobs…so perhaps I’ll get an interview!

Thank you to all for sharing how you feel and for listening to me! 🌼🌼🌼

I did feel like this whilst also aware it’s possible to be lonely even within a family or group of friends. Decided the one thing I could influence was my relationship with me. I now see myself as my own best friend. It’s liberating and a compromise but nothing is perfect.

No advice just solidarity. I have a 4 year old currently going through ASD diagnosis and I can see the few friends I had and even some family slowly melting away from us. I don't know anyone else in real life with children with additional needs - it's so isolating.

Best of luck on the job hunt. I think if you can improve your job situation it will really help.

I did feel like this whilst also aware it’s possible to be lonely even within a family or group of friends. Decided the one thing I could influence was my relationship with me. I now see myself as my own best friend. It’s liberating and a compromise but nothing is perfect.

I think there is something in this. And it has honestly made me feel a lot better since realising it. Another one here where everything looks great looking on from the outside...but on the inside...not so great.

I have very little emotional support from anywhere (also have dc with potential asd, yet to be confirmed).

Just recovering from Covid (feeling quite low which is unlike me of late, I keep busy and I usually don't have so much time to reflect). I realised that actually, my friends aren't great mainly because I don't actually feel listened to - I am the sounding post and it is okay if it stays that way but when I want to talk I either can't get a word in edgeways or feel people are distracted and visibly look like they aren't listening. I've also realised that I can't actually be honest either, as to how things actually are for me with these 'friends' and kind of maintain the wonderful outside impression.

The other thing I found a major help was when I was having therapy/counselling. It seemed incredible that I could have an hour just to talk about me and the things that were affecting me (and really be honest about all of this). Unfortunately, I can't justify this currently as there are a lot of financial demands but if there was one thing I could do to take care of myself, it would be to find a really good/supportive therapist.