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Hard to know what is real and what is depression

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CrGP · 07/05/2022 18:04

Just wondered if anyone had ever felt like this. Been with my partner for 6 yrs. It's been my longest relationship, I've had two other relationships previously (one for 5 yrs and one for 4 yrs). I've had depression all of my adult life.
I've noticed recently that my depression has reared its head again. I'm on anti depressants. I feel like I'm going through the motions but a bit emotionless. I dont want to break up with my partner but currently dont have any feelings, but I dont for anything really. I do exercise and have a little high after but then feel flat. I could win the lottery and not be over the moon. I still want to spend time with my partner and do nice things for her but I just keep feeling flat. I did wonder if the relationship had run its course but I don't want it to have and like I said, I do nice things for her but just don't really have that in love feeling? Not sure if it's just my depression or not and wondered if anyone felt the same. I dont want to lose her but can't have a life feeling like this. I did have some counselling sessions yrs ago which said I have a tendancy to self sabotage when things go well but it's hard to know whats just my real feelings and what could be depression. Thanks.

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