Fear of choking

[ftm79507]

TW talk about CHOKING?

I don’t know if any other mums have this but I feel like I’ve lost the plot. I have a very unreasonable and frantic fear of my baby choking, food, toys, liquid you name it I’m terrified. I think about it every day it’s like an intrusive thought you could say?
I get worried incase a toy is too small, or incase something might break off a toy, or his dummy might break, I’m worried he will choke on his milk, don’t even get me started on meal times. I can’t wrap my head around this because I know the chances are slim.
I know this probably sounds absolutely dramatic and strange but it’s genuinely ruining my every day life because I feel like I am in a constant anxious state. My baby is almost one now and I’ve only developed this since the weaning stages. Is there any support for things like this? Like therapy? I’m waiting to hear back from my hv although I think she might think I’m insane too.

Hi,

I'm not sure about specific support available but would definitely recommend you doing a paediatric first aid course (HV may be able to advise of free courses locally) so that you feel better equipped to recognise the true signs of choking and to act in the unlikely event it should ever happen. And also because it's just a great thing to do generally.

My job involves assessing adults at high risk of difficultly swallowing inc. choking to see if they can eat and drink and just knowing that I know how to deal with this if it happens was a huge reassurance when I was weaning my now 2 year old. There are lots of great online resources for weaning that explain the difference between gagging (totally normal developmental reflex) and choking too. E.g. a bit of coughing occasionally when milk 'goes down the wrong way' is very much a healthy inbuilt protective feature of the throat/brain to help redirect the milk the right way, even if it looks dramatic - assuming your child does not have any specific physical/developmental feeding issues where you may need to worry more about choking. There's also a lot of information out there about how to offer different food textures in a developmentally appropriate way for different ages which you may already know.

I think some anxiety about your child's well-being is normal as a parent, but when it becomes intrusive and regularly interferes with daily life reaching out for support as you are is a positive thing. I worry about my toddler falling off things and getting a brain injury so need to actively monitor myself to make sure my worry does not transfer to him as taking (controlled) risks is so positive for his development. Maybe it is helpful to think of all the benefits of your being exposed to a wide range of foods in terms of their nutrition, discovery of new experiences, enjoyment of food and how this outweighs the tiny tiny tiny risk of them choking if they are supervised and eating in a safe environment.

As PP said. Learn what to do if your baby does choke. Go on a course, get someone medically trained to teach you.
Then you will feel more confident that you will know what to do if this happens.
Think of all the millions of babies who eat and suck and drink every hour of every day and don’t choke. Its rare.
Give soft foods and watch when he eats. Check dummies arnt damaged and that toys have no small parts.
if you have done this then really the risks are incredibly small.
Be really careful not to pass your anxiety on to your child as they pick up anxiety through behaviour so easily.
I would say speak to a HV about your anxiety and get pointed in the direction of a training day.

Also just to add, your brain has fixated on the choking aspect but really it’s anxiety because of the huge responsibility of a small child.
When I had my first baby, I was so frightened walking along the pavement because I was convinced a car would come off the road and smash into the pram or some nutter would grab her out of the pram and run off or Chuck her over the bridge onto the motorway (we had a bridge with motorway running underneath it near us and when we walked)
Its horrible but it’s just the change in life from only being responsible for yourself to being a mum with the weight of the care of something you love more than life itself all on you. It’s not the choking per say, that just the aspect your anxiety has focused on.