Health Anxiety - has anyone got better?

[PaperLanterns]

Hello, I suffer from really bad health anxiety.

This last bout has been triggered by a smear test I had in May last year - I received a letter from the GP saying that borderline changes and HPV had been doing and at the same time, received a letter from the colposcopy clinic at the hospital saying they’d detected severe changes and I had to make an appointment urgently.

I opened the letter on the day we were going for our first family holiday as a four and pretty much wept in fear whilst I planned the letters I would write to my babies for their birthdays as I wouldn’t be there.

I googled. And googled. And googled.

The panic grew and grew and I was awake at nights absolutely convinced I had cancer.

I attended the colposcopy clinic and the nurse doing the procedure said she couldn’t really see anything but she’d take a quick biopsy to be tested.

When I was dressed, I sampled her what would happen next - she said that they’d test the biopsy and I’d be contacted soon. I asked what the likely outcome was due to the severe changes and she said that there wasn’t any ‘severe changes’. I showed her the letter and explained I was really worried and she was genuinely horrified and took a copy of the letter and said she’d report it as it was a mistake.

Results came back as C1N changes and they'd leave it to be retested in a year.

I understand people make mistakes and I have always been a bit worried about health/dying but this has triggered something inside now that means I fly into the worst panic whenever I feel a twinge or a bit of lower back pain. to make matters a bit worse, I had the Mirena fitted in October and have been pretty much spotting/bleeding daily which hasn’t helped.

Then, this morning, the smear test letter has come through the door…

Has anyone managed to conquer HA?

Just wandered how you got on after

I had a period of serious health anxiety. It was triggered by a mixture of a miscarriage, a hormonal disorder and subsequently being over prescribed medication for it, and a health scare, and having a young child. I went to CBT sessions. The NHS therapist was terrible so I went private and that therapist was amazing. I also took sertraline for about a year.

Lots of my CBT focussed on the physical cause of anxiety, techniques to control immediate anxiety, analysing the likelihood of serious illness, and having a deeper understanding and acceptance of chaos and control. This really helped. I have within my power the ability to eat well, exercise, and make appointments to be checked if I have any concerns. Everything else is outwith my control and panic will not help. Googling and reassurance seeking are false methods of control and will only make your anxiety worse. It is really, really important to go cold turkey on this. I had to completely stop using my phone except for phone calls during the worst of my illness. Seeking reassurance from family and friends is also a no no. The more you get, the more you will need.

I know how horrible this feels. At my worst I thought I'd never be happy again. But I got through it and can honestly say that I have a healthy, normal attitude towards my health and even death. You absolutely can get through this, but you will need help.