Anyone suffer with anxiety but manage without meds?

[RoofFlower]

Always been a worrier but it’s intermittent. I’m ok sometimes and other times I just go off on one and when I do I catastrophise and drive myself crazy with the what ifs. I feel like I’m the only person like this and I’m a bit embarrassed to talk about it in real life. To me my worries are all consuming when they happen but to other people looking in, I think they will just wonder what I am stressing about.
If there is anyone else out there like me, how to you cope? I have tried meds in the past but because I’m not constantly like this I don’t want to take them.

Have you tried counselling?

I have depression and anxiety which are worse than normal at the moment due to issues at work

In the past I have been suicidal.
Meds the Dr prescribed turned me into a different person I put on 2 stone and struggled to feel anything, had no sex drive ect

I was on the wait list for talking therapy for age's then gave up

Dp has autism and dd2 is suspected of it so he can't help much as he just dosent understand if I need to talk

Things I found that helped me are excersise
An hour a day minimum for me this has to be without my kids or dp

Another is my dog
They have always been a huge part of my life both past and present good boys
it means I can talk to him even though he can't reply he's an excuse to get outside he won't miss a walk so I have to be active
A dog isn't for everyone though and a puppy can cause way more issues so very likely wouldn't work for most people

I also started to take Cbd last year and this has helped immensely I use a vape version with no nicotine and only use it when my anxiety gets bad
I found it just stops the worry without numbing like the pills did and I need it less often now
I try not to use it too much as I am asthmatic but iv not noticed any ill effects but again it may not work for everyone

I have had telephone cbt in the past. I waited quite a long time for it and when it came, I was in a good place so didn’t really engage with it. However, I know I need to change the way I think about things. The way I react to things. My anxiety is always a reaction to something and it’s the way I react that’s the problem. Got a few things going on in life at the moment and I’m on the edge. I will latch onto something and then it spins around in my head constantly. A comment can set me off with the overthinking.

Tried meds but hated being on them.

Talking is the key for me but unfortunately I find that I cannot talk about my thoughts in real life. It helps even just posting on here and reading replies so thank you.

Oh I relate too much. I will be ok for weeks on end, and then I will completely spiral about every factor of my life to the point I've nearly ruined it many times. The worst of these spells result in not eating or sleeping properly and withdrawing for weeks. It's always the same things too, I hate it because I like my life when I don't overthink it until I'm in despair and I hate how often my anxiety spikes. I know monthlyish doesn't sound often as some people feel anxiety daily, but it's the severity of it it's soul destroying. Just today it came back and I opened my notes as I remember writing something when this last happened and it was the 8th March. It doesn't make much sense! Sorry I'm rambling on about me. I tried counselling but I don't think I was honest enough with them to benefit. Antidepressants make me numb and I check out of life a bit on them. I just battle on hoping the good spells last longer and the bad spells lesser..

Hello OP,

I also suffer from ongoing, relentless (you know) anxiety and i've been off the meds for about 4-5 years now. I was on a really low dose of ecitalopram which really helped but weened myself off them because i don't see it as a long term solution (for me personally.)

So I generally live day to day with with a lovely mix of different anxieties going on all at once. I found CBT really helpful at the time but it's something you constantly have to work at. It's like you have to retrain the way your mind works and that's very hard indeed, but it's really good to try and acknowledge the way your brain is working.

I try and live day-to-day and be mindful and appreciative of the small things in life. When my anxiety get triggered i try and breath deeply and remind myself that it's never as bad as you think it's going to be.

I'm not saying this always works and I would love more than anything for this to just disappear. However, i'm slowly learning how to live with it and how to manage it.

You do what's best for you, but just remember that you are not alone. Anxiety is a lonely bastard but there are many people out there that understand and empathise with your situation. Good luck OP xx

I know that you want to hear about how to cope without medication but I’ll reply anyway…

It took me until I was nearly 50 to finally take medication for anxiety and obsessive compulsive (intrusive) thoughts.
Without it I catastrophise everything!

The problem is I have always been able to mask incredibly well. I am told I come across as a very cheerful, calm, relaxed and easygoing person. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I had counselling years ago and was effectively told that I wasn’t anxious, didn’t have panic attacks, didn’t stay in bed for days at a time and didn’t have intrusive thoughts. Basically, they didn’t believe me.

I was finally seen by a male doctor who was seeing me for something totally unrelated and witnessed me at my worst. I was exhausted.

I now take fluoxetine (Prozac) and it has changed my life.

I have to be proactive and make sure I exercise regularly. It's honestly been a game changer for me and gives me something positive to focus on that I can control.

I make sure I do something everyday. Whether that's a brisk walk for an hour, a run, yoga, weights...having that commitment to myself really helps. Physically the endorphins make a massive difference too.

I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it is genuinely helping me right now. I accept I may need meds in the future because feeling like you're being crushed by a tonne of bricks just because you have to log on for work can't be ignored. But right now I have a handle on that (and the other million things that can set me off on the downward spiral).

I think it’s good that talking helps you OP, does writing a diary/journaling help you at all? I know it’s often recommended but I’ve never really stuck with it.

Ive always been a very anxious person but find there are times when it’s better, sometimes worse. Looking after myself physically has a huge impact, which I’ve only realised in the past few years since seeing a nutritionist for some other issues (although she was aware of my anxiety and at the time depression ). I’m now a big fan of health and nutrition podcasts too 😆

Keeping my blood sugar steady (and as a knock on my hormones) has had a massive impact. Looking after my gut health. Making sure my vitamin levels are good (I was deficient in folic acid and low with a few others, including b vitamins which I understand are important for mood). I love moving meditation like yoga or qi gong to quiet my busy mind.

Also spotting when I’m getting into a downward spiral - for me it’s doom scrolling or comparing myself to others on social media. I have to put it down for a couple of days and completely reset.

Maybe focusing on those physical things just let’s me be a bit kinder and more gentle with myself, which can help? My biggest struggle still is sleep.

Same here. I'm 52 and had lived like this for years. Finally decided I absolutely could not waste the rest of my life feeling this way. I'm 3 months into taking Citalopram and it's the best thing I ever did. Kicking myself that I left it so long.

Thanks everyone. I have just joined a gym so hopefully that will get me out and stop me dwelling on myself a bit more.

ICannotRememberAThing I too am excellent at masking and yes everyone sees me as being calm and laid back and I’m totally the opposite. But it’s that I don’t want people to see me anything other than capable. I think if I let rip and started talking about all the things I worry about, I will push people away. I do talk about stuff but in a roundabout way, as if it’s just a thing and I’m not overly concerned but I’m reality I’m overwhelmed.

Ive stopped talking to Dh about all my trivial worries because although he is sympathetic to a degree, he just doesn’t worry like me. I will get to a point where I explode and it all comes out which helps.
I have self analysed over the years and think I have an underlying feeling of unease all the time and to give these feelings validity, I attach them to something and that kind of justifies the anxiety in my head. Although I hate it.

Journalling is something I have done in the past and it does help a bit to get things out.

sorry. I said I like to talk

I have an underlying feeling of unease all the time and to give these feelings validity, I attach them to something and that kind of justifies the anxiety in my head.

Same here! Thats why for me it can help to focus on what’s happening with my body physically that might be triggering that feeling. It’s hard to know which comes first though sometimes, the physical or emotional feeling of anxiety.

What kind of ‘trivial’ things are you worrying about at the moment? (Asking as you said you’ve stopped telling your husband all your trivial worries.)

I’ve read that anxiety itself isn’t a bad thing. We are the ones in the tribe that would be on high alert for attack - we’re the ones that wouldn’t get eaten! Not so much help today though and when it’s switched on/up all the time.

I would like to know this too 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m going back to work after maternity leave (having been anxious, particularly at work and socially before having a baby). I’ve taken beta blockers in the past just before work every day but they didn’t make a huge difference. I still didn’t feel confident, although I might not have outwardly been having a panic attack at least. I wanted to start an ssri but I’ve heard they can make you gain a lot of weight and I’m getting married this summer. I really can’t gain weight or I’ll be bursting out my dress 🙈 We have made it the smallest wedding possible as I just couldn’t cope with a big deal. I don’t know whether to just ‘bite the bullet’ if you like and phone the doctors for medication, the idea that some people take it and say it’s changed their life is exactly what I need!

I used to have terrible health anxiety. I lurched from one symptom to another and it was always the worst possible outcome in my head. I would go to the doctors but act as if I wasn’t that concerned. Then go home and obsess about it 24/7. However, other anxieties have taken the place of health anxiety, although I do still have my moments.

I take on my dc’s worries too. If they are upset or worried about anything then I take it on myself tenfold. Can’t bear to see them unhappy and it’s mainly their issues that are my focus now as I’ve got them both home due to fallout from the pandemic.

I once hit a pigeon with my car and was mortified. I couldn’t stop at the time but went back later to check (couldn’t find it) but I was terrified I would be arrested. Totally illogical now when I look back but at the time …. thoughts just spiralling out of control. It’s embarrassing to think about it now.

I need to get a grip and put things into perspective.

I was diagnosed with anxiety at 15 (in my 30's now). I've never had medication and I do OK. It is a lot easier to manage as I've got older but I also think that has had a lot to do with my husband 100% supporting and accepting it.

I had CBT to begin with for a while. It helped. Then I had children, it got worse. Health anxiety, intrusive thoughts, anxiety about germs and cleanliness of the house, i over think every conversation and plan ahead (I used to need a pre planned response for every possible outcome), anxious about social situations, anxious about putting myself and family first. I then had more CBT and i also realised the people I had in my life helped/made it worse, so I let go off those who made it worse.

Like I say, I've had near on 20 years to try things, I am a lot less anxious as I've got older, I try to think there is no point worrying as worrying will not change any outcome. I also go to the gym now (I know you've mentioned this) and I also use mindfulness apps (before bed, when I wake, whilst walking the dog, whilst on my break at work, whenever I feel I need to).

It can be debilitating at times and I really for those struggling to manage their anxiety, but it can be done without meds x

I can relate to everything you have said OP.
I truly believe that for me there is a chemical/hormonal imbalance. I can physically feel the fear, anxiety and despair.
I also take on my DC’s worries and have spent many years in a state of unease.

The medication I now take doesn’t solve any problems. I still feel uneasy and fearful but something in them stops those feelings from spiralling out of control.

I love your quest and commitment to getting yourself better. You’re not alone and have gotten so much great advice. I think your OP and a couple others said they come across as happy and calm, that’s how I appear too (I hope)

But I’ve spent years on and off, up and down, anxious, channelling the void that is in me into all types of destructive behaviours and having a fierce inner critic waiting to latch onto something to beat me up.

I’ve found a healthy outlet for my nihilistic temperament but sadness and anxiety still haunt me from time to time (also often projected onto whatever my DC are going through)

so here’s what I’m doing:

I think it’s good to have a pilot checklist for each individual worry/ anxiety.

For example:

• Am I starting to obsess about something stupid or embarrassing I said or did?….pack it away it and sleep on it for one night as it’ll be forgotten tomorrow.
• Am I unable to focus/work because I feel so ‘inadequate’? …take a relaxing break and sit down later to just do a couple easy tasks to ease back into the routine
• and so on

Becoming aware of automatic reactions and deeper beliefs is so helpful and key: you say I have self analysed over the years and think I have an underlying feeling of unease all the time and to give these feelings validity, I attach them to something and that kind of justifies the anxiety in my head.

this is a key I see standing out in your post

And here’s a couple questions for you to answer for yourself (find the way that lets your thoughts and emotions flow like a stream of consciousness, maybe it’s when you run, maybe it’s on a large sheet of paper scribbling away, whatever that is, make sure you free flow the answers and give it some time like 15 minutes each)

so this is what I’d start with if I were you,

What is it you’re feeling unease about?
And why?
What story are you telling yourself about this?
Can you see what it looks like?
What does it want from you?
etc

Getting better is an ongoing work, to become aware of everything - and having great routines, and being able to lighten life. Maybe even be able to laugh about ourselves sometimes.

wow this has turned out a massive reply, I really wanted to hop on and ask if you’ve tried breathwork, it’s what helped me a lot. I do it occasionally and I let all the tears and screams out and feel better, more aware, and more evolved in a weird way.

so glad I NCd for this as I feel absolutely bonkers writing all this (I know what you mean when you said you always want to be seen as ‘capable’)

Thank you MaryVee and everyone else for your replies.
I think I need to have some sort of therapy but it’s unlikely because it’s just too expensive. And would I really be able to talk freely without embarrassment? I’d probably just gloss over things as usual.
And I think that this anxiety/unease is so much a part of me and so deeply ingrained that I can’t be helped and that it’s here forever.

@MaryVee I found your response so helpful. Thank you for taking the time to help. The kindness of strangers!!!

@RoofFlower if you feel you need some kind of therapy, I'd look into that. Or find someone to share your thoughts/feelings with (even if it's your diary etc). It sounds like you need help and I hope you get yourself something to help. I'd also open up fully, even if it's just to your diary that you lock away. Owning up to it all is part of it.

And I wanted to say that also my post was tinted a bit like "yea that's what I'm like, it's ingrained". Let's not take our heaviness on as a fate. We always have a new choice to act, feel and do.

@Kenwouldmixitup no, thank YOU for making me smile. Sending best wishes to you

Thanks everyone. More great advice on here.
MaryVee I just find it so hard sharing my thoughts with anyone, even close friends. They’ll just think I’m crazy and neurotic- I am 😁.
But sharing is the absolute key to it all. Even just posting on here, and getting responses, makes me feel so much better. Not so alone.
I really need to take control and tackle this. And saying this, I think the root of my anxieties is the fact that many things in life are out of my control. My dc’s think I fuss and stress about stuff (everything) but that’s just me trying to control and avoid any potential hurt. I need to accept this.