How do I get my family to take me seriously?

[LemonPieKitty]

Currently hiding from my family in the car because I just want 5 mins peace.

I'm pretty depressed at the moment but I've come to the conclusion that a lot of what I'm feeling is because of their behaviour.
I have 2 teenagers and a young baby and my partner. Everyone treats me like a slave. Oh mum is on maternity leave, she's at home all day, she can do that. I do all the washing, all the cooking, I'd say 90% of the cleaning.
It's not just the physical tasks but the mental load of carrying everyone's baggage around. Knowing who needs to be where, what coursework is due, what revision needs to be done. I'm trying to sort an extension and a mountain of paperwork that goes with it. My middle child has problems with school and I'm attempting to home school her whilst we wait for an alternative provision. On top of that the baby barely sleeps and spends all day attempting to climb me. I love my kids dearly but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up.

Everytime I bring it up I'm made to feel like I'm being completely unreasonable and ungrateful for what my other half does.
I keep trying to put one foot I front of the other and get through each day but it's not exactly conducive with happiness.
Dd has discovered my hiding place. Ffs.

Other dc just came marching out with the baby. I give up.

You need an emergency family meeting.

Their course work and revision is solely their responsibility drop that.

Create a chore chart. They can do chores every day. Every one doing a small amount takes a bit chunk off you.

What hours does your OH work?

Unfortunately the baby is a baby and you sound touched out. The only cure for that I found was time

Other half work from lunchtime to 10.

I did speak to him last night and I said we all need to sit down because I can't keep up with everything. I don't even have particularly high standards. I just don't want to live in a house where no one picks up after themselves because if I have a bad day then it really shows. Nothing gets done. I didn't wipe the kitchen surfaces for 4 days to see if anyone else would bother.....they didn't.

I've tried to implement chores before but it never lasts. I know people are reading this and thinking get a grip/back bone but it's really hard to when you feel totally exhausted. I have some health problems which also make me feel exhausted. I end up eating junk food to cope which has made me pile on weight, has exasperated my health problems and just makes me feel worse overall. I need to lose weight but I feel so low down on the list of priorities I don't even know where I'd find the headspace to do it.

I honestly don't think that. You sound emotionally exhausted and having to manage the others on top of that must be soul destroying.

I honestly relate to a lot of what you've said. Including the snacking and eating.
I'm sorry I don't have a solution but you're not alone.

Could your husband take the lead on pushing the kids to do their chores?

Mine are 8, 6 and 2 but one thing I am trying is chore time. So we all have to clean at the same time so it can't be avoided. So while I'm trying to do something they have to do their chores.

It's literally just started so don't know if it will work.

Op, you are taking on everyone’s load. Coursework and revision are the teenagers responsibilities not yours. If chores are not done, no wifi, phone etc. make it a specific chore chart too- some teens would not even consider wiping the surfaces unless it’s explicitly requested of them.

Lose your shit with them. Shout at them for being such utter slobs and point out that you aren't a fucking maid. They can sort their own coursework, it's not your problem and if they fail, they fail. Totally their responsibility.

So I just thought I'd update again. It helps to have somewhere to write it all down.

Nothing has really changed and I have conceded that I'll have to go to the drs next week and ask for anti depressants. I can't handle feeling like this any longer but equally feel if my family gave a fuck I might be able to deal with these feelings without the need of medication.

Dp says all the right things but never follows through on what he says. He knows when the house gets messy it really affects me, said on Friday evening that we would spend Sat morning clearing it up. Baby didn't sleep so he left me to sleep but didn't wake me until gone 1 then went out. Came back for a bit then went to the pub. Nothing got done.
He works evenings and I find it really hard juggling dinner and the baby every night. I asked if he could take dinner on over the weekend to give me a break but he always conveniently goes out when it's tea time saying he will sort it when he gets back but then takes so long to cook that we don't eat till gone 9 which is too late so I just end up doing it so we can eat at a reasonable time.
If I say anything he gets upset and acts like I'm.being completely unreasonable.

The whole family get shitty if I'm in a bad mood so I feel like I just have to put on a facade and get on with things whilst underneath it all feeling completely hopeless. My feelings are completely worthless and never validated.

If anything changes it never lasts longer than a day or two then they go back to normal. I've come to the conclusion nothing is going to change and my only option is to take and depressants and try and get on with it. It hurts that they don't care.

If he works evenings and you are on maternity can dinner be at 12 - traditional dinner time ?

He's gone into work this morning, will probably finish at lunch time but will take himself off to a drive through, have a mooch around the shops and return around 3. Then because he's been to work will say he deserves to go to the pub.

I've suggested cooking dinner together in the day yime before he goes to work but it never happens.

Cook it when it suits you and leave him to reheat