Abusive / controlling partner . Advice please

[vb123x]

Hi , this may be a long post . But please read , so iv been with my partner 3 years . 1 child together and 1 child out of a another relationship .

My partner was really great when we first was together . Took my son as his own . We've had problems since the beginning , red flags . Which I kinda ignored or didn't think anything of it .

Red flags , paranoid , constantly ringing and texting me etc . Wanted to be with me straight away after 1 month and wanted to move in . Of course I was really happy ! So I let it be .

We was great for about 1 year , then things just started to get messy . He's very very insecure , doesn't let me go out with friends . Very controlling but in a sutle way . Past couple of months he's started to get emotional and physical abusive with me . Last night he dragged me around my kitchen to my living room , he pushed me over . Etc etc , took my phone , car keys away . Taking all the stuff he's bought in our home away . ( apparently because he bought it ) all
Because I changed my profile pic on Facebook , and he wanted me to delete
Facebook & I said no . He gets in my face and shouts , says all horrible things to me , grabbing me . I don't no what to do , I love him but I can't believe he's treating me like this ? I'm 23, he's 27 . My metal
Health is so bad at the moment . Ovbs there's loads more to this story but it would be too long , any advice ? I no I should leave , it's so hard though . Iv been in a very abusive relationship with my sons dad . And that was very hard to walk way

Also iv just had a abortion 2 days ago .

He says if I be with anyone else around he daughter he will make my life hell and won't allow it

He sounds toxic and the situation does too. I think you might be best ringing Refuge for advice here. It won't magically improve and will only get worse, so the quicker you can get professional help, the better.

What daughter? Is there another child other than your son, or is he assuming your pregnancy was a girl and doesn't know about the abortion?

Is your mum around Op? You are so young. You will get lots of practical advice here. Please phone Woman's Aid. You and your child deserve better.

@Longcovid21 i have two children . Son & daughter x

@Motnight yes . I have a sister who lives on the same street x

Can your sister help you leave? Have you told her what is happening?

@Motnight yes but this is my home I have no where else to go . The house is mine not his , I'll try have a civil conversation and ask him to go , I just want to be civil

Red flag that he moved in after a month, never let a man move in with you for a good few years especially if you have DC. Can your sister help you leave.

It's your home. You shouldn't have to leave and if he refuses to leave, perhaps what you need to do is to call the police. Tell them he is being violent and abusive, and refusing to leave your home. They will come and get rid of him for you.

Does he pay towards bills and food? would you feel safer if you got a friend to be with you when you tell him to leave, if he kicks off you call the police.

You had an abortion 2 days ago and he’s dragging you round the kitchen?? Wth ?
If you tell the police they will be there when you ask him to leave as I’ve done that in the past. Or lock your house up and go to a womens aid refuge and the police will be there while he gets his stuff . They will get the key and you can move back in .

Oh and then change the locks !!!

This stuff doesn’t get better when you stay @vb123x my FIL is still really abusive at nearly 80 and my MIL is still there. It makes their kids lives hell. I know you don’t want that for you or your kids for another 60 odd years.

Please get some help and advice from professionals.

www.womensaid.org.uk/

You can't have a civil conversion with a bad human. Be careful please. Ask your sister for help.