I feel silly writing this because I think I already know the answer but I guess I just want to know I’m not wasting their time.
From the outside my life looks good. I have a good job, own my own home, a gorgeous wee puppy, a supportive partner and my wonderful DC. I don’t have a lot of money, but I have enough for bills and healthy food and the odd fun thing. Could be better but there’s a lot more people worse off than me.
My problem is that for the past 5-6 weeks I feel as though I am drowning. I’m having mild panic attacks, and crying every single day. I’m losing my temper over silly things. I have bitten my nails down so far it’s now actually painful. I can’t concentrate properly at work. I’m sleeping 8 hours a night and I’m still tired every day. I’m getting anxious over things like the dishes not being done and the floor not being swept. The puppy is great until we try and leave, at which point he freaks out and can’t do longer than 5 mins alone. My partner works away so despite being very supportive, isn’t here all the time to help. For background, I had a bit of a breakdown around 3 years ago and I can feel it creeping up on me again. I was never medicated or took time off work because I didn’t want anyone to know what was happening. It contributed to the end of my marriage and caused a lot of pain that took a long time and a lot of counselling to get over. For the past year I’ve felt fantastic, really happy and content (hence the partner and addition of a puppy) but this last couple of months has got me to a point where I feel like I could happily walk out the door and just keep going. Pretend life isn’t happening. I just want a rest. It’s exactly the same as how I felt 3 years ago.
So I guess my question is; am I right, should I speak to the doctor? Or is it maybe just a bad patch that I’m escalating in my head and I will muddle through.