Anybody else having a breakdown?

[KathH]

Help! Am really fed up and worried i'm going to have a breakdown! Have 4 kids 12yrs, 8yrs, 5yrs & 7 wks. Love kids to bits but older 3 are always fighting. Hubby works really long shifts. 7 wk old is a bit of a sicky baby & find i'm always going to check on him, if he makes the slightest noise i pick him up as am convinced he'll be sick & choke or that there's something wrong with him and i know after 4 kids i should know better. Don't think this time of yr helps as always tend too get a bit down when it's always dark and cold can't wait for the spring and baby to get a bit older but then feel guilty as i know time goes really fast anyway and feel am wishing his life away! He's sleeping through from 10.30 feed till 6 which i know is great but feeling fed up is so tiring.
Sorry to sound like a whinger but feel better for having got off my chest!

No wonder you feel low - you've got a hell of a lot on your plate - and with a 7 week old baby - that's the time it really hits you I think. You spend the first 6 weeks in a bit of a surreal haze then week seven hits and knocks you for six. You poor thing - remember it does get better/easier and your confidence will grow as the baby gets more sturdy (not right word, but you know what I mean?!). Have you had a chance to have any time away from the baby yet? You probably just need a bit of a 'breather' - I guess you are in demand ALL the time with 4 kids - do you get time off? I really wish you luck - don't be hard on yourself - anyone who can cope with 4 kids can rule the world in my opinion - it's amazing what you're doing.

sorry to hear you are having a tough time atm. sounds like you have a lot on your plate atm, especially with your fella doing long shifts. do you get any chance to have time to yourself, or at least have one or two of the kids off your hands? do you get company during the day/can you get out to a M & T/surestart group at all? i don't think there is anything wrong in looking forward to a baby being that bit older and able to move/interact/burble/laugh etc. little babies aren't very exciting the first few months, as it takes them so much energy just to grow aside from anything else.

it might be worth having a word with your GP or HV (whichever is likely to be most sympathetic)to see what they recommend, and to see if you might be a touch depressed, or are just plain knackered

thanks for messages - am going to see The Darkness on Wednesday night so Justin Hawkins in his catsuit might at least make me feel that i'm 17 and footloose and fancy free for a couple of hours!

Hi KathH

I just wanted to let you know what really works well with my kids as far as arguing goes.

I have one of 8 and another of 6 (ok bit younger than yours) and one of 9 mths. I remember those first few weeks where the female hormones dont know if they are coming or going. Your body is adjusting to having to just supply you and not two of you anymore. No wonder you feel as you do.

Ok.. With mine, we have a chart on the wall. We start with £1.50 pocket money at the top under each name. When they are naughty, have attitude (as an eight year old does), or when they argue they each lose 10p. When they can actually see what they are doing causes them loss they soon change. Obviously adapt it to suit you.

My friend has a 12 and 14 year old and used this idea too and it worked!

Get the older ones involved with the baby. Plus give them time (which is hard I know).

We also had a chart when they were younger where they got stars or stickers added to it when they were good.

Hope you really have a lovely night out! You need time for yourself to recharge your batteries!

Hi - will try idea with kids , thanks. Went to GP today who was great - checked out baby's heart & chest and said he was fine. He told me that i was probably knackered and probably expecting too much of myself. He said to forget about housework, as long as house isn't actually dirty would anyone even know if beds weren't made by teatime let alone care? He also suggested having some me time but to come back if i felt worse or not any better in a week or two.
Think i was just having a bad day yesterday, feel almost human today!