Recently I've felt very lost, I've lost a lot of weight and look better in myself, but on the inside I feel like I am crumbling and I don't know why. I have a loving husband a beautiful little girl and home. Everything I could ever want really, but I can't seem to shake this feeling unless I am busy or drunk. I keep getting lost in a hole and don't know which way to turn. I don't want antidepressants, they don't sit well with me and I'm a qualified counsellor and HR advisor, so feel like talking to a "professional" will be pointless. I feel selfish and horrible for thinking like this, because I shouldn't, I have everything I need, but just feel so helpless abs hopeless. It's so stupid. I even thought whether I would be better off if I wasn't here anymore, but I couldn't leave my family without me, I can't be a person to cause that much pain.