Health anxiety out of control over infection

[Nogodsnomasters]

Hi everyone,

I've suffered from health anxiety for years but sometimes it just gets completely out of control when I'm unwell. I have tonsillitis at the minute, I'm on day 3 of it, I've had it before and one time it put me in hospital so I'm always pretty terrified of it in case the same thing happens again. I feel really hell-ish with this bout, more so than normal, like I slept 12hrs last night and I'm still tired, I've got a headache with it and I just feel really poorly on top of the actual sore and swollen throat, this is the part thats scaring me - I'm convincing myself it's something worse, meningitis or sepsis and I'm aware of how unlikely that is but it does not stop my brain from telling me that I am hours or days away from collapsing, going into ICU and leaving my son motherless like I am.

The only time I have felt exhaustion like this was with covid last year but I have taken 3 covid tests and all negative so that is why my brain has moved on to other potential illness as surely "just tonsillitis" couldn't make you feel THIS poorly especially considering I've had it a few times before.
Nothing my husband says can reassure me so I'm not really sure what I'm looking for on here , maybe just people who also have severe health anxiety and know how I'm feeling.

I have tried distraction - colouring in, reading, comfort TV show, playing board games with my son - nothing is alleviating this grip.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I just want to send a hug your way - I have health anxiety too and can understand how you are feeling, I have a huge fear of something awful happening, which has become very intense since having children and then the pandemic has made it even worse. I wish I had some good advice for you but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I sometimes try to remind myself that my thoughts are not my reality - sometimes grounding techniques can help too. Lots of love and hope you feel better soon, might be worth calling 111 for a bit of reassurance? Xox

Tonsillitis can make you feel really really poorly op. I too suffer with health anxiety so know how easy it is to get into a real panic about any symptoms you may have. However, that can also make your symptoms much worse. It’s a vicious circle.
Keep away from Google, keep yourself comfy with cold drinks and pain killers and try not to jump to the conclusion it is something other than a nasty case of tonsillitis which may take a while to improve.

@SpringSunshine09

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I just want to send a hug your way - I have health anxiety too and can understand how you are feeling, I have a huge fear of something awful happening, which has become very intense since having children and then the pandemic has made it even worse. I wish I had some good advice for you but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I sometimes try to remind myself that my thoughts are not my reality - sometimes grounding techniques can help too. Lots of love and hope you feel better soon, might be worth calling 111 for a bit of reassurance? Xox

Thank you so much for your reply. I saw the out of hours Doctor yesterday who gave me an antibiotic for it considering my history with tonsillitis, they also said with the exhaustion I'm having there's a potential it could be glandular fever which I had as a teenager.

I spent an hour yesterday repeating to myself "I am not afraid of tiredness, I am not afraid of a fever" - I feel so pathetic.

@TellySavalashairbrush

Tonsillitis can make you feel really really poorly op. I too suffer with health anxiety so know how easy it is to get into a real panic about any symptoms you may have. However, that can also make your symptoms much worse. It’s a vicious circle. Keep away from Google, keep yourself comfy with cold drinks and pain killers and try not to jump to the conclusion it is something other than a nasty case of tonsillitis which may take a while to improve.

Thank you for replying, it's nice to have a hand hold of people who understand. You're so right that anxiety can make you feel even more poorly than you already are. I am on day 4 this morning, my pain level is reducing, but my poorly feeling is not so far. I have been gargling with salt water so I think that's what is helping the throat itself though I'm still quite swollen back there.

My husband has been so good and looked after everything while I mostly stay in bed but I think not keeping busy allows my mind to go berserk but at the same time I haven't the energy to get up and busy myself so I'm stuck in a bit of a loop mental health wise.

How are you feeling? How's it going? Hope you are starting to feel better - glad you were able to speak to a doctor.

You are not pathetic! You are going through something really mentally difficult and you are trying your best to manage your health anxiety, it's just a really hard thing to do without help. Big hugs. Please be kind to yourself X

@SpringSunshine09

How are you feeling? How's it going? Hope you are starting to feel better - glad you were able to speak to a doctor.

You are not pathetic! You are going through something really mentally difficult and you are trying your best to manage your health anxiety, it's just a really hard thing to do without help. Big hugs. Please be kind to yourself X

Thank you for checking in on me, that is very kind of you. I went out today (and got dressed) for the first time in 5 days. I think the antibiotics are working as my throat is definitely improving but I do still feel run down/poorly. I think going out has given my brain something to focus on other than symptoms and sensations which has been good for me, we just took the kids to the park and the lough.

I appreciate you saying I'm not pathetic, sometimes it's hard to feel I'm not when I'm a grown woman with a job, a child and Foster child too and I'm quivering like a mouse repeating affirmations in my head 🙈 the power anxiety has is unbelievable some days.

Tonsillitis can flatten you. My cousin gets it and she says it's the most painful thing she's ever had. Including her 5 kids.

Well done for getting out and about - so glad it has made you feel better and glad that the antibiotics feel like their working. Hope you continue to feel better over the next few days.

Aww I totally understand 💕 I feel this way too sometimes. Sometimes it helps to remember that when you are dealing with something mentally exhausting, like health anxiety, it can take soooooo much more energy to do every day things than it does for someone who isn't battling their thoughts throughout the day. So that fact that you are on here seeking help, getting out and about, working, mumming/foster mumming and working on your affirmations makes you an absolute superhero. You are trying your best and need to give yourself credit 💕. I wish I had more concrete advice for getting rid of health anxiety but you are not alone xox