No friends possible adhd

[Greenleaf123]

Hi all I'm 39 and have small children a partner but no family support I also have no real friends.
One of my children is being assessed for adhd/Add in that process I realised I have the same issues and have started the process for myself.

The worst bit for me is the friendship issues.
I'm fine in term time groups to attend school run things to do routine etc. The holidays roll round and we hear from no one I reach out to people to be told sorry I'm busy. So I stop asking. I often feel really sad and low during school holidays as a result and feel I'm failing the children.
I feel hurt recently about a new group of friends Ive been included in I asked to meet up with the others via group message a nice walk in the country side type thing all agree but due to weather it gets cancelled. I then find out on the day the others still met up at but me and my kids weren't invited but during their Time out we are chatting on group chat it wasn't mentioned till after.

This hurts as it happens time and time again for me and I don't know what I do wrong to be excluded or least that's how it feels. I try to be open as I can be. I just feel at 39 I'm past making any meaningful friendships now because I just don't get them or fit in 😔

Any one else feel similar and how do you manage cope etc? Thanks

ah man i'm sorry to hear this. I don't have kids but I totally empathise, i found out via Insta few years ago that all my friends went on holiday with my ex partner without me knowing. I find it super hard to make new friends so it hurt that my good friends could ditch me like that.

My main way of coping is to never expect too much from people and be appreciative of the small moments. Those "friends" of yours sound like asshats and I wouldn't waste your own energy and happiness on them. Don't let people like that bring you down. Treasure your happiness like a fragile bird and don't let those people destroy it. That sounds a bit cryptic and lame but it's the best way i can explain it on here. Hopefully someone else will come along with some better advise soon. :)

Hi Greenleaf123, I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. Firstly I would like to say I am sure you are not failing your children as you sound like a loving mum which is the main thing! I empathised with what you said about school holidays, it always felt like a bit of a desolate time for me and my 2 DC ( now adults) , like you we would try and reach out but meet ups always felt like a struggle to arrange. Nearby there was very few, if any other children to play with so it was always just the 3 of us.
It might be worth persevering with the group a little longer but if you feel left out and it is upsetting then it's tough. If you are pleasant to people then I wouldn't analyise too much as to why they might leave you out. Some people are thoughtless unfortunately. I hope you manage to find some company , like I said the main thing is that you have each others company and love.

Hi thank you both for your replies.
I've always been able to make friends but never been able to keep them as a teenage I was always flitting from one group to another.
I thought having children would be a magic door opening to mum friends but unfortunately it hasn't been.
Maybe I should take up a random hobby and make friends that way 😌