Struggling with anxiety

[LP12345]

I've always been a stress head if you like. Hate having things that need doing - I rush around feeling anxious til it's all ticked off - and I don't like being out of my comfort zone or in new scenarios/around new people unless I'm with someone I know. I get run down and my heal suffers if I'm under stress.

I didn't have any thoughts of anxiety until a couple of years ago when I felt really spaced out and breathless so contacted my dr after a week of it carrying on. I have asthma so I thought it was that. He sent me to A&E and they couldn't find anything but diagnosed me with underlying anxiety and suggested I speak to my dr for advice but no one followed up with me so I left it. I was embarrassed tbh, I didn't think it was anything like that at all. My partner didnt know what to think or do about it when I got home and told him - he sees himself as very mentally strong and in control of his mind. Plus he's so chilled out about everything unlike me. I felt better knowing what it was anyway and I deal with it better now.

I've had a hard couple of years really since Covid. My partner lost his job when we had our 4 month old but he's done so well setting up his own business from home and is thriving now. We had relationship issues the last year and big talks about where we want to be and if we're happy together still which set my anxiety off big time each time it comes up. We've been together 10 years. I lost a baby last year too which broke me for a long time and set off the big talk about us - again my partner doesn't understand. I'm very emotional and he's not - I think I irritate him with my emotions sometimes. I'm having health issues since the miscarriage which plays on my mind because all I wanted was to try again for a baby and I'm in limbo waiting for hospital appointments.

I suppose everything is weighing down on me this evening. I'm tired from just getting back from a holiday that was fun but exhausting with a toddler. It's always sad coming back from holiday and the anxiety of going back to work next week has started up. I feel overwhelmed with everything that's happened the last year. A bit like I'm drowning with nothing to grab onto, it's just problems and worries everywhere.

I don't always feel like this but I hate when it creeps up on me. I have no one to talk to about it, I don't have many friends and I don't talk about this to the ones I do have. It's just too much to even go into. I do t really want to talk to my dr.

I suppose I'm ranting on here to just get it all out and see if anyone feels like this too sometimes.

I am sorry that you are feeling like this. There are quite a lot of apps that help you deal with anxiety, maybe try a few.
Talking to my GP and being prescribed Sertraline has been a game changer for me. I realise now just how anxious I was all the time.

Thank you, I know I should speak to my dr really I just hate the idea of it. Think my partner thinks I'm a bit nuts tbh an just overreacting. I'm not trying to make him out to be awful or anything, he's a good guy just on these things we clash a little because we're so different. I hate feeling so overwhelmed with life and every little thing making me worry.

Honestly, just speak to your doctor. It’s frightening, but they see this every day. You will not regret it!

Hi, your last couple of years sounds like mine! I'm sorry for your miscarriage - I had one too last year and it is an awful experience. I have an anxiety disorder which is very well managed - ie I can work and carry on as normal but I find when everything gets too busy or too many challenges happen at once (covid, relatives unwell, children unwell, work stress, money stress) it flares up massively. Unsurprisingly :) I also definitely give myself too much of a hard time, I think we all do as mums and we put everyone else first. Been prescribed sertraline after a flare up but haven't taken it yet - I try and squeeze walks in to clear my head. But thinking I might try it - shouldn't be reluctant to do so as we take pills for when our physical health breaks down! But it feels like a big step. How are you feeling today? x

Hi @Kat247

Thanks for your message, as much as I don't want anyone to feel like I do sometimes it helps to hear people are going through the same. It's been a rough couple of years and brought the worst out in my personality I think. I'm much the same as you mostly tho - I work and continue with life on the most part perfectly fine but sometimes I get really down and then I start to panic that an anxiety attack is coming. You can just tell when it's on the way can't you. I bought some kalms the other week after a bad week of palpitations etc but I only took them a couple of days before It eased off anyway.

I feel a bit better today thanks for asking, I've had a good day with my partner and little boy. Done some nice cooking and bits and generally feel calmer. Thanks so much for sharing and taking the time to ask after me, I hope everything is good with you too? I totally get the not wanting to take medication for these things. Can seem scary! X

You don’t need to go to the doctor for therapy, you should be able to self refer. Just look up the service in your local area. If it’s an ongoing thing it’s definitely worth doing.

Medication is definitely not first line, if it’s something you’re prone to then learning long term coping strategies is the best way. A few people might need medication But it’s quite likely that you won’t

Hi @dane8 thanks for your reply. My partner does help around the house when he can. He works from home and with the business still being new he doesn't really get a break himself from that side of things. He works evenings and all day most days. He does what he can to help tho - I do have to do the majority around my part time job - and always does bath time/alternate bed times and we alternate mornings too. We've talked about trying to find a better structure to make time for more fun family stuff as well as work and our own time to help.

He probably has said I'm mental tbh in a row because she doesn't understand my feelings and it's easier not to go into it with him. He's not uncaring it's just something he struggles to understand as much as I wish he could. His way of showing love is providing for us and working as hard as he can to get us what we need and other the bills etc which for someone like me that relies on emotions I suppose isn't helpful on the down days.

I do need to take a bit of time for myself. I don't do it much at all but the days fly by when you're busy I guess. You're right tho I have spoken with people at work that openly talk about dealing with their anxiety.

On the most I can be to totally fine and carry on like normal but then ill have bad days or weeks if something upsetting happens and I feel overwhelmed. I suppose the only answer it so speak to my dr if I want to get better but it's easy to put it off when the symptoms come and go. Thanks for your message x

Thanks @BungleandGeorge

I have downloaded an app that has some meditation for anxiety that I found pretty relaxing and gives me a bit of time to myself to just be calm. I only used it today but I found i felt better after. I just need to be a bit more positive and find some coping methods for when I'm having a bad time for whatever reason c

Some of the apps are great.
Maybe have a think about self referring too, there’s often a waiting list www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

Thanks @BungleandGeorge I'll take a look xx

@LP12345

Hi *@Kat247*

Thanks for your message, as much as I don't want anyone to feel like I do sometimes it helps to hear people are going through the same. It's been a rough couple of years and brought the worst out in my personality I think. I'm much the same as you mostly tho - I work and continue with life on the most part perfectly fine but sometimes I get really down and then I start to panic that an anxiety attack is coming. You can just tell when it's on the way can't you. I bought some kalms the other week after a bad week of palpitations etc but I only took them a couple of days before It eased off anyway.

I feel a bit better today thanks for asking, I've had a good day with my partner and little boy. Done some nice cooking and bits and generally feel calmer. Thanks so much for sharing and taking the time to ask after me, I hope everything is good with you too? I totally get the not wanting to take medication for these things. Can seem scary! X

Nothing wrong with medication if needed (I'm still deciding!) half the people I know are on sertraline! I find fresh air and exercise/ a walk, cooking (something methodical about chopping veg!) help....there's an app called SilverCloud you can access through GP and talking therapies as medication alternatives. I have two young children and getting an hour to yourself when possible is essential. Find what relaxes you and build it into your day, it is important x