Having a baby with Borderline Personality Disorder

[ShiningStar1990]

Hi to anyone reading this...

Long story short... I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 18 months ago. I currently have a 4 year old daughter and a loving partner. I have recently found out I am pregnant, which was a huge surprise as my partner has been clamped down below so there is a 10% chance of conceiving.

Anyway with my mental health I struggle with my past traumas, previous relationships, I am quite an OTT Mum to my daughter, always ensuring she knows she is loved, I will go above and beyond for her as I guess I didn't have the same in my childhood so want her to have what I didn't.
I am struggling mentally at the moment. I'm obviously struggling with early pregnancy symptoms, exhaustion being the worst right now and it's massively playing with my MH. I am worried I won't love my baby, will my daughter be affected and not feel loved, what if having a baby affects me so bad mentally that I struggle to also take care of my daughter, will I then resent the baby. So much is going through my mind at the moment and I'm really beating myself up over it.
Please anyone who has been through the same, going through the same, provide me with some words of wisdom, advice, anything to help settle my mind. The anxiety is beginning to take over and I just want to live a normal life without the BPD constantly ruling my life. X

I've no expertise but it sounds like you're a good mum to the daughter you have now, and I'm sure you'll be just as good with the new baby. You say you have a loving partner so hopefully he'll do his share too, which will take some pressure off you.
You do at least have a diagnosis now which you didn't when you had your first daughter. I know that knowing you have a disorder and managing it aren't always the same thing, but I'm guessing you've learnt some coping techniques in the 18 months since you were diagnosed. Have you had any therapy or anything, to help you deal with it?

Does it help to know I had similar worries with my second child OP? I don't have your diagnosis but I do know that anxiety and motherhood often go hand in hand. Sometimes we are just working things through as being a mum, as you well know, is a huge responsibility.