What triggers your depression?

[Frollop]

Hi,
I've noticed I suffer from SAD so the miserable weather doesn't make me feel great...also being envious of others which doesn't happen alot but is motivating me to make changes in my own life.

It's really hard when you thought you were moving forward mentally only to feel yourself being pulled back. Life is just so mentally draining at times although I know there are better days to come.....

Mine is having a really, really stressful job. I hate the Autumn/Winter. I go to work. I sit on my bum all day, in front of a computer. I go home, I log onto my laptop, sit on my bum until I am too tired and have to go to bed. I may have a few drinks whilst sat on my bum at home.

For some reason, I do not know why, I just CANNOT motivate myself when it is dark.

Yeah the weather for me too.

@RedDiamond I previously had a really really stressful job and that made me depressed. Can you plan to leave?

Sustained periods of work stress.

Feeling like I’ve failed or someone thinks I’ve done something crap at work

Particularly something with the DC. Me feeling I could/should have been doing something better. Somehow failing them.

I can manage or cope for a bit with these things without feeling depressed (how resilient I am!) but then it feels like everything’s crashing down. It’ll pass, but just constant cycle.

Not having something to do or focus on. I get into a cycle of wasting the day and then my mind starts to find something to do (usually counting things) and threats when I know I’m on a downward spiral.

That’s not threats

[quote Frollop]@RedDiamond I previously had a really really stressful job and that made me depressed. Can you plan to leave?[/quote]
No not yet. I am a single person after divorce so I will have to work another 9 years until I can retire. My problems are mental. I hate the dark. I cannot move after dark. I have no energy.

BUT! It was not dark here until after 7.30pm tonight. I hope I muster the strength to move more soon.

Definately dark nights but mild - moderate depression.

Prolonged stress

My own poor coping mechanisms - which I've only realised since really working on my resilience

No recognising my signs/symptoms of deterioration at an early stage and acting on it

Sleep deprivation

Hormones

Too much time on my own - although in a proper introvert I've had to learn that I need to spend time with people or reach out to remain well.

Lack of structure/focus etc

@RedDiamond hopefully the evenings being lighter will help how you feel and also to move. It's hard when you can't leave a job...I've been there. Trying to have coping mechanisms can help, escapism things you enjoy , a support network and things to look forward to but it's easier said then done sometimes..

Hormones also affect my mood and not having things to do gives me to too much time to think negatively.

Body image, weight gain, weighing myself, bad photos, comparison with others.
Sounds vain but it's a big issue for my mood.

Also looking in the mirror for me can sometimes trigger me

Boredom, ultimately. Not being allowed to fulfil my potential workwise.
I tried to reframe my attitude as "It's just a job, loads of people aren't engaged at work, you're nothing special to expect different or invest in it. " Didn't work.
If I can get through this latest episode of depression in the next couple of months, my plan is to do a Masters in an area that is quite a growth one. Then even if people think I'm weird, face doesn't fit etc- hopefully they'll suck it up because they need me

Loneliness,
Waking up in the middle of the night.
Something like a letter, or an email, phone call that is related to the cause of my depression.
Memories. This is the hardest one of all. I can never get rid of them.
Being knocked back by people who are supposed to support you as part of there job and they never do.
Broken promises.

@Minesababycham

Sustained periods of work stress.

Feeling like I’ve failed or someone thinks I’ve done something crap at work

Particularly something with the DC. Me feeling I could/should have been doing something better. Somehow failing them.

I can manage or cope for a bit with these things without feeling depressed (how resilient I am!) but then it feels like everything’s crashing down. It’ll pass, but just constant cycle.

Because we are not designed to function when its dark.

Stress and ill health...mine and loved ones.

Yesterday was a bright positive day...I walked, met friends and had a good time.

Today I felt sad..I was productive at work but felt withdrawn.
Lunch was nice in the sun but just felt an inner sadness. I think feeling alone despite having friends and family can feel painful at times.
I'm just so tired of life at times...the routine and outcome of it all, it's all such an effort especially when it doesn't go as planned but you have to be grateful for what you do have yet it's not enough to make you fee fulfilled (probably spelt that wrong).

Off to bed and hoping the sun will shine tomorrow...