Tips for coping with crippling imposter syndrome

[HelpMeHiveMind]

As the title suggests really - just looking for tips for dealing with this.

I recently received a very large promotion to a role I've wanted for years. For approximately 5 minutes I was overjoyed. Then a sea of blackness gradually took over. I felt - and continue to feel- completely pinned down by feelings that I'm not good enough for this, that others below me are better, that if I don't pull it off I'll be got rid of and end up with nothing. That I've somehow fooled or pressurised them into giving me this chance but now it's all on me to make it work and if I can't pull it off, I'll be exposed and my career ruined. That I've over stretched myself, I won't cope with the pressure.

When I try to get my head into gear to do work and think about the new strategy, my mind is just totally blank. I feel shaky at times, numb and anxious, Full of paranoia at others. It's ridiculous- I've always had high praise for my work and am well respected around the business. I'm prone to anxiety anyway but have never experienced it at this scale and it's taken me by surprise.

But enough of how I'm feeling...what do I DO about it? Answers on a postcard, please...

I've recently stepped up into a VERY big job from the role I was in before. It's taken me six months to learn the business, the people and what I'm doing. We had a talk on this on IWD and a key take away for me was that pretty much everyone has imposter syndrome at some stage, women and men.

Head down, crack on and you will cope!

... following for advice too!

Following with interest..I am a nurse, and really don't think I am good enough..congratulations on your promotion OP, I hope you can get over this xx

Congratulations on your promotion. You were promoted because you were the best person for the job and your company could obviously see you were competent and have the skills to do it. Firstly don’t beat your self up too much, there will be lots to learn in the new role. Concentrate on breaking things down into chunks and tackle them one by one. Secondly, Think about times you have done well in the past. What were the strengths you used? Now think how you can use these strengths in your new role. Thirdly do you have a mentor or coach (or someone away from work) who can support you. Finally when you are getting these negative thoughts really push back at your self and ask “is that thought helping or hindering me?”And try to reframe it. There are lots of good TedTalks on impostor syndrome. Best of luck.

You made it! Then you obviously deserve it.
Now fake it til you make it as they say! And don’t worry you will grow into your new role.

Just think: what would a man do?

Does it help to know that every woman I have ever come into in business feels the same to a greater or lesser extent, at some time or another. You are not alone!

@nearlyspringyay thanks but that's sort of my issue. I'm generally a very high achiever and although I suffer with anxiety, I keep it generally really well managed. This is on another scale. Someone suffering a panic attack or symptoms of depression wouldn't be advised to just crack on and soldier through. I'm looking for active coping tips to get through the complete brain fog and panic as it currently is overwhelming

Thank you for some helpful ideas @Evasmissingletter

Oh I get you op, I get you 100%.

Same boat here.
No tips because every single thing I’m told I don’t believe, I have absolutely zero trust in anything anyone tells me about me and that is how my imposter syndrome works.

But it’s a fucking bastard and I don’t like fucking bastards so every minute of every day I have a full on blazing argument with it in my head.

I looked at my CV & covering letter for my current job the other day and it blew my mind.
I have listed everything I’ve done, achieved, managed and innovated… and I am absolutely fucking AMAZING!!
It made me all warm and sunny and kinda proud.
It’s just bits of paper but I remembered with each thing on those lists how hard I worked, the barriers I broke down, the exhilaration on getting to my end goal.
I can’t quite believe it’s me but I know it is!

Anyway, I’ve pinned them both up on my notice board above my wfh desk.
As I’m having that bloody argument with the imposter inside, I tell it to fuck off and have a read….

Hi, I recognise this and after similar experience - not even after a promotion sadly, just a standard job move and teething issues with a new colleague - it got quite bad. My usual strategies for managing my MH weren’t enough and I wasn’t able to work effectively.

I sought help. Paid for a short period of counselling.

This really helped, and the counsellor flagged that for people with MH issues job changes can be a risk factor for a ‘flare up’. It helped me get back into a zone where I could reduce the fear and physiological symptoms and engage my ‘thinking’ brain. Not to perform at 100% but be OK enough to get work done.

If am in a ‘good place’ I find ordinary ‘work self help’ type content helpful, eg youtube videos, articles.

If am NOT in a good place it’s MH help I need. Getting towards that at the moment as am seeking promotion and interviews set off major angst in me!

OP, did you have an upbringing that encouraged you to be confident, or one that tended to emphasise your negatives and advised you not to overreach yourself? It probably helps to know if that's a factor, as counselling etc. could be structured accordingly.

oh OP you are not alone. I wish I could say the same but I'm so paralysed I've stayed at the same level for 12 years as I'm terrified off applying for a new job and getting 'found out'.

When I get overwhelmed I don't the best thing to do is start. Just get thoughts down, start worrying sobering. Starting a task is the hardest talk, I work with data and sometimes spend a day writing reports and then scrap then and start again, bit the initial process helps with the final build.

Likewise when writing a report it's always easier to amend/edit than start again from scratch.

You wouldn't be where you if you weren't worthy, others believe in you

The simple answer is...to talk about it, not necessarily with colleagues but with people at a similar professional level.

Have a look at this page;

www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/thevulnerabilityarena/

@Loopytiles did you just get therapy or were you prescribed meds too? I'm worried that if I go down that route I'll be given anxiety meds and I'm scared of 'taking the edge off' as its my sharpness that has landed me this promotion...

@Doggirl Bit of both. I was always pushed quite hard and constantly told I was something special - put in for exams early etc. I can't say I ever really felt pressured by it, I rose to it - but as I've got older I do have a constant fear of not living up to what I should have become. I was criticised heavily in lots of other ways - but never really about work / intelligence (though I was once put on an underachievers programme at my mother's bequest because I was only on target for A's not A*s in a couple of subjects!)

Not tried medication though probably should have!

Counsellors just ‘do their thing’ and don’t push meds, if they have concerns about your wellbeing they’ll likely say so and suggest GP or MH services.