Stress- What should I do

[kkgirl]

Hello

Haven't been on here for a while, had been feeling better.

Is there anyone on who could quickly offer me some advice.

I am under a lot of pressure, two 11 year olds and one 14 year old to look after, hubby has a terrible job, is under a lot of pressure. I work part time, and although i am capable of doing my job easily work in a team of people who do not work well together, and am due to change bosses when I go back tomorrow, and my current boss who is so lovely and has been so supportive over the last 6 months leaves on Friday.

I have been off on leave since 19th December, a lovely long restful break. I have had the virus which is going around since last week, and it has gone on my chest, so I feel really weak and wobbly and my asthma is bad because of it.
I woke up yesterday morning in the middle of a nightmare and immediately starting worrying about work, then by mid morning was in tears, because my daughter couldn't find her homework and was stressing that she would get a detention. I talked to DH about it when he came in, because I have struggled now for a while and at the beginning of December, got to the car park at work and couldn't go in, came home in tears. I am thinking it would be best to go to my GP this morning and get sorted out, am scared of medication, my mum and dad elderly now are on anti -d's permanently, and I don't want to go onto something and then be taken off if it will make me worse.

Can anyone help me decide quickly whether I should ring and make an appointment, I feel such an idiot.

Kay

KK -
Why are you so worried about work? You have been off for a while so I am sure that people will give you some grace whilst you "get going" again. Give you new boss some time to settle in as well - try not to worry about things that you are only anticipating....

As for the family, homework etc - they need to be a little more organised themselves - completed homework in file when done, bags packs night before etc

Claricebeansmum

I don't know why I am so worried about work, I am more than capable of doing the work, its easy stuff like ordering stationary, arranging meetings, all admin. I do wonder if it is not enough for me though, I thrive on organising, and I don't feel valued there. We are a small team of 12 and there are two people who have been promoted and are the golden girls, most of the rest of us don't feel valued at all, everything seems to revolve around these two, and one of them will be my new boss. She is in her mid twenties, and when I joined, although my boss was someone else, I was to work for this girl as well, and she treated me like an two year old, and as I have worked for the government for over 30 years, I have been around the block a few times, I felt resentful. She has been a bit better recently, but I can't see I will have a good relationship with her and I have tried my hardest.

As for the family, they are totally disorganised. I try to get them to do all the things you have suggested, but it still is chaos in our house in the mornings.

I have made an appointment to see GP this afternoon. I am menopausal so it seems that it is linked to my cycle, so maybe I will consider HRT or Anti D's, don't want to.

In my ideal world, I would give up work, just deal with the day to day trivia, but then the material things of life that the kids want to have would have to go.

I think going to see you doctor is a good idea - maybe some HRT might help - or even a short course of anti-D's. See what GP says.

As to the job - I can see why you are thinking it will be tricky to go back to. Why not go back but start looking for something else. Make a list of things you like (part-time etc), things you don't and see what else is out there. And give your new boss a chance - I really understand why is might be hard but try "new year, new broom, new start" and wipe the slate clean - well as clean as you can...

Even in the best run households mornings are chaotic but start letting your DC take responsibility - their homework is not your responsibility. My DS is 11 and now irons his own school uniform and DD 10 will start on the training scheme soon! There are always things forgotten - but the more thought about the night before less there is to remember in the mornings (says the MNer whose DD has gone back today without her pencil case!)

Thanks CBM

I have been to see the doctor, she has offered me a choice of HRT/Anti D's but also has given me some websites to look at if I want to do CBT.

She has signed me off for two weeks to have a rest and get over the virus. I have been looking for sometime else, and did go for promotion for a HR type job I would have liked, but nothing much is around and there will be job shedding soon. I am hanging on to see if I can get early release so that I have a reserve of money and then can get something else which will be less well paid - I have been in Civil Service since 1976 so am on highest money for my grade.

Feel a bit better now thanks for all your support girls

I felt quite a lot better after going to the Docs and was determined that I would go back to work and face it sooner rather than later. And then yesterday, boss who is leaving to have baby rang to say that she had completed my report and discussed it with second reporting officer, and was I able to deal with it if she sent it up.

Well, I thought I was, but now I am so hurt and angry with her, I don't know what to do. Basically the quality of my job is low and even though I have been doing these tasks, basically office admin jobs for ages, they are always looking over my shoulder at work and stressing about stationery and trivia like that, whereas in past jobs the team have just let me deal with it and have been happy with my work.
My report says that I am up to standard in most respects, which has left me disappointed, especially as when we merged into this team, I was asked to move from my previous job, which although at the same grade carried a lot more responsibility, and my line manager there gave me B+ and even 1 A, whereas this one I have B's and two B-'s.

I emailed back to Boss, who has said that I will have to take it up with 2nd Boss when I come back as today is her last day, and I feel so let down by her. At my review in October, I can't remember her telling me that there were any problems with my work. Part of me wants to let it go, but this has made me feel that there is no way I could go back there, i feel so undervalued and my self esteem and confidence is just ebbing away.

I hope someone logs in soon, I need someone with a clear mind to help me sort out this mess.

Kay

kkgirl you are not well at the moment, signed off, so you should not be doing any work, and they should not have asked you to.

I am off work too and am so tempted to log on and do something but I am determined not to as I need the break.

You need a break too - you will be much better able to deal with this report when you are better. For now put it away and try to forget it. Decide which pills you want, or if you prefer CBT and make a start and in another week see how you are.

Take it easy, have a good rest and go from there

The weather is so cr*p I am going to get 2 hours sleep before I need to get the kids - what do you fancy doing, anything is better than sitting there worrying