Evening all,
I was unsure whether to post here or a money related post, if mumsnet would like to move to the relevant post, thank you.
Just after some advice please as don't really have anyone to talk to and my anxiety has gone through the roof and can feel my depression creeping back up.
Trying not to drip feed and sorry if its long.
My DH works full time recently gone from PAYE to self-employed. We also are on Universal Credit. On PAYE we were never contacted by UC they just took DH wages and any money, if any, we were due we received and we're never contacted.
He's moved to self-employment and now on a much higher wage. 40+hrs p/w £14-£16 p/h.
UC have contacted to say I now need to attend appointments as DH is under the amount and I now need to look for work.
This is me not wanting to work, however I'm still not ready and my DH is 100% supportive to be the one earning enough income. I struggle extremely bad and have for the past 2/3 years.
The thing is I've never told Universal Credit, Doctors or anyone else concerning my mental health. I've tried to do it on myself with support of DH and family.
It started after a very close friend sadly passed. I developed depression, which then lead to bad panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia. Lockdown probably contributed as was then happy at home with my curtains drawn ect and no interaction from the outside world.
I can now manage the school run...even if before I leave high heart rate, but it is the only route I'm now familiar with. But thats as far as it goes. I haven't been in the local shops on the school run for over 2 years, visited family, seen friends for lunch ect. I literally leave home once a day to collect DS from from school and thats it.
Obviously for the children I put my bravest face on and make effort on their birthdays ect for meal, but completely exhausting. They don't miss out day to day with outdoor activites/events, DH is fantastic with them. And we do so much together as a family at home in my safe space.
But now I have this appointment, and I can't stop crying. I'm not in anyway after PIP, I know I could be entitled, but the horror stories I've heard over the interviews alone terrify me and not something I feel I could go through. I just want to be able to them accept DP wage until I'm better. I'm just wondering how to tell UC this. I know I should seek doctors advice, but this is another appointment, I'm still not ready for walking too.
I just don't don't know who to turn to.
Sorry for the long one....once you open up it all comes out. Hope someone can advise xxx