Agoraphobia

[MardyOldGoth]

Has anyone recovered from this? How did you do it?

I'm at a really low ebb today. I first started feeling anxious when I was out and about around 2.5 years ago, and bit by bit it built up to having panic attacks, sometimes when I've only been out for a couple of minutes. Then of course, lockdown happened and I went out even less. Since then I've been on citalopram, the changed and started on sertraline, and I'm now up to the maximum dose. I've been to two different counsellors, one for over a year, one since the beginning of this year. I did a meditation course and I practice every day. I do somatic yoga. I do journalling. I gave up caffeine. I rarely drink alcohol. The first counsellor did a lot of trauma healing work with me and I'm doing CBT with my counsellor at the moment and doing the homework tasks he sets me. Nothing seems to be helping! I went to my best friend's house yesterday (CBT homework task) and felt close to a panic attack on both journeys (5 minutes) and had to stop and regroup both ways. As soon as I was moving again the anxiety returned.

I feel like I can't take anymore. I've done everything I can think of to address the problem but only made small amounts of progress before going back to square one. Today I just want to quit. I don't know why I'm bothering to fight anymore if I'm still going to have the symptoms anyway. Feel like I might as well just let it happen.

I also have ME/CFS so sometimes I don't have the energy to go out which doesn't help.

Any advice?

3 years on for me and nothing has helped.

Hopefully some more people who have postive stories can help.

Possibly you are pushing yourself too quickly.
You could consider speaking with your counsellor about slowing things down.
I have known people to begin just by starting on the front doorstep until they are comfortable with it.
Good luck op

My daughters panic attacks turned into agoraphobia last February ( a year ago). She couldn't step outside the front door, go to school, see friends anything. She started Sertraline last May. With exposure therapy she can now go to friends houses, she now has a boyfriend, she can go to school but not class yet. We have started exposure to crowds now so we will keep doing that and over time her fear of that will lessen too. She used to cry when having to get out of the car but now she just steps out and walks into friends houses. Exposure repeated and gradual is key. Have you a safe person who can help you?

Yes, I have (mainly) overcome it. I used to struggle massively to go to the corner shop 100m away, now I can go out for the whole day - with caveats, I like to know the plan of what we’re doing etc.

I’ve had relapses, severe emetophobia meant that during the first trimester of this pregnancy (I’m now 30 weeks), I didn’t leave the house at all. But thankfully once the morning sickness passed I was able to get back to where I was before reasonably quickly, I think because I’d done it before.

I don’t know about advice, I’m obviously not an expert. But for me it was literally to just do it. Which as I’m writing it I know sounds unhelpful, as well as unsympathetic. I have things I always take out with me, for comfort - headphones (along with specific songs that make me feel calmer), mints, I always carry water. And I just forced myself to go out, go to the shop, go for a walk etc. And it was absolutely completely exhausting, I’d do a 5 min walk in the morning and the panic would mean I was wiped out for the rest of the day. But I kept at it - I almost treated it like physical training, like if you were training for a marathon you have to keep going and push through hard bits.
It was really hard - I used to stand, ready to go out, with my hand on the door handle, in tears because I didn’t want to do it. I don’t have any advice to make that part easier I’m afraid.

I read various bits of advice about dealing with panic attacks. All of which sound great and helpful - until you are actually having a panic attack, and then they seem like nonsense. But most helpful to me was acknowledging it, saying to myself in my head “I am having a panic attack”. And I was never able to just try and think about something else, so I turned my focus on the panic in a slightly different direction and really observed it - almost as if I were a scientist or something, studying the panic attack. It helped take me out of it slightly. I don’t know, it helped me but as I said, I’m no expert.

There's a book called 'Dare' that a number of people have recommended with agoraphobia.

@MardyOldGoth
Yes, I'm a long term sufferer of panic disorder & agoraphobia, (since the age of 14 now age 32)
Firstly - Dare is fabulous and I highly recommend it - both the app & the book plus the facebook page for nice recovery stories.
I'm not fully recovered but I am a hell of a lot better than I used to be - I couldn't go to school or further than 10 mins away, nor on a motorway! and now I've been festivals, concerts, go shopping alone, drive to my sisters alone which is an hour away, go places with my fiance up to 3 hours away at times!!
I've been slightly set back since lockdown & losing my dad right at the beginning, but I'm getting better again now we're able to go out.
I just really hope it won't hold me back when baby here as I would really hate for my issues to stop my child living a full life!

I've not been abroad since I was 5 so I can't imagine a holiday abroad but hoping to take LO good old caravan hols and maybe some camping ones as he gets older.

Please please try to keep exposing yourself to places you would usually avoid, and purchase the book Dare Barry McDonagh honestly it changed my whole perspective after losing dad and I have had a LOT of therapies over the years.

It is entirely possible to get better with continuous support and the right tools. We have to just believe in ourselves and stop being so afraid of 'feelings/thoughts' because they cannot physically hurt us. We have to befriend it and one day we will be able to say we no longer avoid it.

Good luck xx

I've been suffering with it for 12 years and it really has gotten better, it took a long time for that to happen though, go easy on yourself and try to remind yourself that you're safe and can always turn around if you need to x

Thanks for all your responses! I was really low last weekend but I've picked up since. Yesterday I met my mum and a friend for lunch at the pub and I was fine, both travelling and being there, so that was great for my confidence! I am trying to get out most days, even if it's only to the corner shop or a quick cuppa with my friend who lives 5 minutes away.

Hope all of you are doing well! ❤

Also, thank you all for recommending Dare. My Audible credit comes tomorrow so that's what it's going on!