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Did this mean he regrets what he did to me or he force me to forgive him? contain self-harm

2 replies

2015StayAtHomeWife · 18/03/2022 19:08

Sorry for English is my third language. We both not English/European/westerners. Me and my husband we together 11 years and haven't parted a day, married 7 years. He always treats me really well, except this one incident (no children involved when this happened).

Almost 5 years since it happened, I love my husband but I just can't seem to forgive or forget. No, it had nothing to do with infidelity, he is a very loyal and faithful guy. It was not financial related, he debt-free and very responsible with money. No drugs, no addiction of any kind, he doesn't even smoke or drink. And No, he did not hit me.

May he did what he did to me. June out of resentment I firmly said to him the only way for me to forgive and forget was death, if he dead. And I said it firmly again. (I said it out of resentment, I totally didn't mean it).
He said if by him dead will help calm my resentment and hatred against him, he willing to die.

We were in the kitchen at the time. He grabbed a big sharp chef knife, aimed at his stomach and pressed the knife hard against his stomach, it penetrated and bleed. Then he looked deep into my eyes and he said he loves me very much. And he pressed the knife harder against his stomach again, and it went further in and bleed even more.
That take alot of DETERMINATION. And he sure must have high pain tolerance.

At that point I was just in tears, I cried alot. I grabbed the knife from him and put it aside. I hugged him really tight and yelled that don't ever do that again. We both cried.

The open wound didn't stop bleeding even with pressure, the gauze keep soaking blood. We had to go to Urgent care and he got stitches. That night he ran a very high fever the whole night, but luckily it subside in the morning.

At the time I did forgave him, I buried what he did to me deep down my heart and try to leave it me. But it seem like deep down I still can't forget as it keep come back to visit me.

When I posted this in Cafemom 5 years ago the ladies in there told me he manipulated me to forgive him, but perhaps I just can't accept it that my husband manipulated me. I still love him so I hope he regrets it it just he not able to speak.

OP posts:
kagerou · 19/03/2022 21:11

@2015StayAtHomeWife if your inability to forget is hurting you and hurting your relationship maybe you should try couple's therapy?

Without knowing what he did it is hard to tell if either yours or his reaction was justified but unfortunately you can never get a true answer to how he feels on the internet

Turningpurple · 19/03/2022 21:24

How does he feel about you telling him you would only forgive him if he was dead?

He didn't cheat, abuse you emotionally physically or financially and you told him to you would forgive him if he killed himself. You may not have said he should kill himself. But he was unlikey to drop dead naturally right then. You told him he could only earn forgiveness be ensuring he died.

I can't get my head round what he could have done that was so bad that you would say that.

You posted this before and it was deleted I believe. Not sure why you are saying you posted it elsewhere but not mentioning the post here.

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